Blunders and Dragons

C1 E1: Being Bourne

• Blunders and Dragons LLC • Season 2 • Episode 1

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It's a whole New Campaign! Our New Characters (Morpheus, Zard and Cobble) wake up in a New World and try to discern where they are and what is going on. 

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Wylie:

You are welcome, listener, to hear this tale. But Fair warning, this adventure is not for the faint of heart. For while this story is fiction, it is also true, and the ending is not happy.

Brad:

Hey guys, I'm Brad, and I play Morpheus.

Kipo:

I'm Kippo and I play Cobble.

Mimir:

I'm Premier and I play Zard Mythron

Wylie:

And I'm Wylie Sloane, your host in DM. This is Blunders and Dragons.

Wylie:

Welcome, listener. This is the first episode of Campaign One of Blunders and Dragons. We are an actual play DnD podcast with a lot of comedy and improv and fun. So if you're new to DnD, don't worry. Stick around for the story, and you'll probably learn a little bit of DnD on the way. So we're gonna take off with our very first episode of campaign one. So, players, I'm gonna ask you to please close your eyes.

Wylie:

Listeners, don't do this, especially if you're driving.

Wylie:

Okay, so players, please close your eyes. You sense yourself slowly rising to consciousness. It's like rising to the surface after being submerged into a dark, watery chasm. At first, your senses are dulled, but you slowly begin to process your surroundings. You feel the cool earth beneath your body. You inhale the still and humid air. Roll for initative

Mimir:

Oh boy. Okay.

Kipo:

Eyes close. I don't know what I mean by that.

Wylie:

Everyone has to close their eyes while rolling the dice.

Kipo:

It sounded like an 18. Pretty sure it was a man. That would have been funny if I rolled an 18, but I did not.

Brad:

I rolled a six.

Wylie:

So we got it.

Kipo:

Are we adding our um we we could just do plain rolls for this one?

Wylie:

Oh, sorry.

Brad:

Three then.

Wylie:

Three. Three, nine. Nine. Ooh, roll off, roll off, roll off.

Mimir:

Oh, you're so doomed. Yeah. Yeah. Two.

Kipo:

Fifteen.

Wylie:

Okay, so we're gonna go Kipo, then it'll be Brad, then it'll be Mimir.

Wylie:

So Kipo, you start to wake up first. You feel a drop of water splash onto your face, bringing you fully to consciousness. As you rub the water from your eyes, you realize that you're lying on the cold stone floor of a cave. Your blurry eyes begin to focus at the rough earthen cavern around you. As you sit up, you feel a bit tired as if you've had a great journey to get here in just a single night's rest. But you cannot recall how you got to this cave or where you were before. Can you please describe your character for us?

Kipo:

Yeah, so before you uh you see a short, as he's just sitting up, he's even shorter, um Rock Gnome who is wearing some scale mail and has a little bag on his side full of uh well it's kind of enclosed, so let's just leave it at that. Just a little bag on his side. Um he's got some regular brown hair, uh not wearing a hat. Uh seems like someone who has not been marked up or scarred by the world pretty clean, uh for a rock gnome, that is. And yeah, I mean that's that's pretty much what he looks like.

Wylie:

As he's waking up.

Kipo:

As as he's waking up.

Wylie:

Um our characters for this campaign are gonna be level three. So could you tell us what his class and everything is?

Kipo:

Sure, yeah. So uh he is a cleric with a guild artisan background.

Wylie:

And he's level three. Cool. He's level three. Awesome. All right, Brad, your character starts to wake up. Can you please describe your character for us?

Brad:

Yeah, so um this character wakes up. Um he is a teenage uh elf, a wood elf. And so he's got kind of sandy brown hair. Um he's very skinny and scrawny. Um, and he is uh basically he he's got on this like leather, like more more like a hide kind of like armor uh that he's got on, but it's a little too big for him. Like it's it's kind of like that that doesn't look like that fits. Uh meanwhile, he's got a he also has an axe. Um this really big double-headed axe, uh, that's really long handle. Uh it's it's just massive, uh, way too big for this like teenage kid to be uh to have.

Wylie:

Okay, great. And can you tell us um what class he is?

Brad:

Right. Uh so his class, uh he is a wood elf, druid, um, third level. Um his background is he's an outlander.

Wylie:

Okay. Yeah. Great. Mimir, can you describe your character?

Mimir:

Yeah, uh I am playing Zard Mython. Uh he is a seven uh foot six inches uh Goliath. Um he uh is uh scarred all over his body with tattoos of like different kinds of stories and things of that nature, like people um that are like running from dragon or individuals that are like uh singing and things like that, and the scars blend in with those tattoos. Um he has a long black beard, um, and it's well kept, um, but it's very big. Um, and he has this bald head with tattoos all over his head of like arrows. Um, and as you look down to his right eye, uh he has this like um eye patch uh that is like brown and uh black, uh like almost yin-yang symbol, um, but brown and black. Um, and it's across his eye, and he has a gigantic uh three uh lines coming down his eye, uh scars um across his eye. Um and he has these like um his left eye is uh blue uh and green kind of uh like flickering in between that. And he has cool um like war paint under his uh eye. He's wearing a chain shirt um and he uh has this massive book uh on his left uh side uh with like art that also is like um maybe shifting, and and when you focus on it, it doesn't shift, um, but it looks like every now and again it looks like it shifts. Um and it has just stories um that blend in with his tattoo. He has these hide shorts um that are from some animal that he's killed, um, and these cool uh like black boots uh that he wears. Um and he has a big smile on his face um with uh just amazing white plur pearly uh teeth. Uh and on the side, he I I uh don't think I have my weapon, correct?

Wylie:

No weapons

Mimir:

I um I don't have my weapon on me, but uh it's this like cool um like silver um like sheath uh that has like a rock uh and a person pushing a rock up a hill. Um and so he like sits up and he's wiping his one eye um and he's smiling uh and just looking around.

Wylie:

He's smiling even as he's waking up in this strange location. He's like what a happy guy. So your characters don't have a memory of even really where they come from, their own personal history. Um you do remember your own name, but that's about it. You don't know where you came from, how you got here. Um but similar to Jason Bourne in Bourne identity, you have a sense of your skills and abilities, and you do you don't recognize each other and that you know each other's names, but you have this sense that you're here together as a team. Cool. So you don't have an inclination to murder one another initially. Initially. We'll see if the you guys get that inclination later. Um, but here you are. You have woken up uh together in this cave, and you don't know how you got here or exactly why. Um can each of you give me a perception check?

Mimir:

I am also a swords bard, I forgot to mention.

Wylie:

Yes, our Goliath is a swords bard.

Mimir:

Perception.

Morpheus:

Mm-hmm.

Mimir:

Mm-hmm.

Morpheus:

I have an 18 six four. Four.

Mimir:

We're dead. I'm just gonna go. You got it, you got it, lock it.

Wylie:

Um so with a four, our um our gnome and hit whose name is Cobble Flint Whistle. Cobble Flint Whistle. You are in a cave, so of course you notice the rocks. Uh-huh. There are a lot. This is a stone cavern. There are stalagtites and stalagmites. Wylie doesn't know which is which, but I'm sure Cobble does. Cobble does. And um you you're like, ooh, this is an interesting cavern. That's what you see.

Kipo:

Almost shaking uncontrollably. So excited.

Wylie:

And then Zard, you are our next highest. Um next lowest, you mean? Yeah, next lowest. Well, I mean, next highest or lowest. There's only three, so that's true. Half cup full.

Mimir:

Wow, that's true. Wow.

Wylie:

Um, so you do notice that it's not an entirely stone floor. There's some dirt areas and stuff, and it definitely is damp. Um, and but you also notice, oh, I don't have my weapon. I don't have food or water or gear. And so at this time, I'm gonna collect all the beverages and snacks from the table in real life, and you guys will not get any snacks or beverages until your characters do. I'm serious. No, this is rough. You better find your gear pretty fast.

Brad:

Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Mimir:

I'm gonna attack somebody in real life and careful. Oh, and my drinks? Oh, I need them. I'll put this in. We're doomed. Listeners, we're doomed.

Kipo:

My gosh.

Wylie:

A lot of snacks.

Kipo:

There's a lot of snacks.

Brad:

I don't know how long I'm gonna make it. Yep.

Kipo:

This wasn't in the contract.

Mimir:

This wasn't in the contract.

Wylie:

All right. Um, but Brad, with an 18, your character um sees that there looks like there's um some rotted wood on the floor. This Cavern. All right.

Brad:

Got it.

Wylie:

You were hoping it was food and beverages.

Kipo:

Yeah, put them back on the table. Um Ladies and gentlemen, we can't um yeah.

Wylie:

So there's there's um some pieces of rotted wood mixed over in the sandy area um in the cavern. So that's what you're able to observe.

Morpheus:

That's all I noticed.

Wylie:

I mean, aside from everything else that everybody else is noticing as well. It's kind of compounding perception.

Mimir:

Is it like warm right now? Like is it is it warm outside?

Wylie:

Or yeah, so you're in a cave, so the air's cool but humid and damp.

Mimir:

It's not like winter time or anything like that.

Wylie:

It it doesn't seem to be right now. Yeah, it seems to be a pretty comfortable temperature, but a little bit, you know, cool and damp.

Mimir:

Uh oh, I mean, I stand up and I wipe off my eye and I go.

Zard:

Hello there! I'm Zard Mython. Very nice to meet you all. Um, I'm in a predicament. I do not have my weapon or my supplies. Um Whom are you to be?

Morpheus:

Oh hey, uh, I'm I'm Morpheus Swithblood. Uh so I I don't I don't know what's going on, guys. Uh who are you? Why are we here and uh uh where uh what is going on? What what is happening?

Zard:

I'm I'm Zard Mython. I said that. Morpheus Swiftblood, what is it? Yeah, Swiftblood. Swiftblood. Wow, what a great name.

Morpheus:

Yeah, uh what what the heck do we do?

Zard:

Yeah, I don't remember much at all.

Kipo:

My my character is uh looking like at you two, like just going back and forth with his head really quickly, and then but also looking over at the closest wall to him. Like like he really wants to go to the wall, but he doesn't want to be impolite and and just leave. And so he stands up, all three feet of him, and he says, uh, I'm Cobble.

Cobble:

Wow. Um excuse me, one second.

Kipo:

And he runs over to the wall and immediately starts chipping away at the wall.

Zard:

Hey, sorry, my excitable friend. Um, I apologize uh for interrupting your wall time.

Morpheus:

Uh so what guys re seriously, what what do we do? Like I I I don't know what to do. Like, can uh I'm assuming my my guy would probably just start looking around, trying to find helping look around.

Wylie:

Yeah, sure. I mean with that 18, you'd probably the sandy area seems like a place to start looking for stuff. You saw, you know.

Morpheus:

So you said there was rotted wood. It's rotted wood. In the sand. Mm-hmm.

Wylie:

Yeah.

Morpheus:

I guess he would just start maybe pulling the rotted wood out.

Wylie:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So it's like it's definitely in kind of a pole shape. Like this maybe looks like it was a handle for a tool.

Morpheus:

Okay.

Wylie:

Yeah.

Morpheus:

So he pulls it up.

Wylie:

Yeah. So you pull it up and the the sand is pretty soft. It doesn't seem like there's stone immediately like it it's not stone like the rest of the floor.

Zard:

Okay. Excuse me, Cobble.

Kipo:

He's in the corner. Yeah, he's over in the wall.

Cobble:

Oh, fascinating! Oh, this is wonderful.

Zard:

Oh, did you find something, Cobbler?

Kipo:

Uh he comes uh running back and he's just like fastening the little bag on his hip. Um and so he runs back to you. Hey, did you find did you find our thing that's our belonging?

Cobble:

Oh, of course. You did? Oh, no, no. I found more friends. Oh, okay. Wonderful. Um Hello!

Zard:

Hello, hello, hello, hello.

Mimir:

No one responds.

Wylie:

No one responds.

Zard:

Oh, I'll leave that for later.

Mimir:

Um, and I take a note of uh I'm just r you know writing everything and I'll be like, uh do you need assistance there, my my young fellow?

Morpheus:

Uh I'm I'm just gonna start digging and see what I can find. No, Gary.

Zard:

Uh I will help you out.

Cobble:

Digging? You're digging.

Morpheus:

So he just starts digging in the sand to see what if he finds anything.

Wylie:

Yeah. You start digging with your hands, I assume.

Morpheus:

Yep.

Wylie:

Yep. So you guys are all digging with your hands and um or maybe the rotted stick. Yeah, using the rotted stick a little bit. And um eventually you hit with that stick. And you feel that there is something solid down here in the sand. So as you keep digging, you're able to pull out a whole metal chest.

Mimir:

Okay. Here, let me lift that for you. And I just lift it. Nice. It's a big guy. Yeah.

Wylie:

Oh, let's see. Um there is a lock on this chest.

Zard:

Well, may I borrow that stick real quick, my friend? Sure, sure. Unless you want to.

Morpheus:

I just want to do it. I've got this, yeah. So uh yeah.

Zard:

I'll give you a Bardic inspiration.

Wylie:

Okay, how do you give him a Bardic inspiration?

Mimir:

I'll be like, You have this, my friend. Your muscles are like and I flip to a just a random page, and it talks about like this uh like uh gorilla that like lifts up a rock uh from uh and saves like a bunch of uh people um from this massive cave. And I'm like, you're like a gorilla on the inside, and you can break anything that you would like. That's within reason, of course.

Morpheus:

Oh yeah, awesome, super cool. Alright, so he just tries to break the lock with the stick, okay.

Mimir:

Uh, and you get a D6 uh inspiration. So you're gonna add that.

Wylie:

It is gonna be a 15 difficulty to break it.

Morpheus:

Okay. What'd you I got a 16 of strength? I have zero.

Mimir:

Yeah, that's good. No, you can keep that for 10 minutes. You got that inspiration.

Wylie:

For anything.

Mimir:

Super cool.

Wylie:

Awesome. So you with this stick and feeling so inspired, and um teenagers, you know, sometimes they're just so well rested, even sleeping on the ground. So you just have this energy.

Brad:

It's got a you've got a new back, you know.

Mimir:

It's a young back. He's fine. I just looked around for my snacks and I was like, there isn't. I'm upset.

Wylie:

Hopefully that reminds you characters. It does. Find their food. So you are able to open this chest. Um, as you open it, you find that there are water flasks, but they're empty.

unknown:

Oh no.

Wylie:

You find that there are food pouches, but the food is rotten and moldy. And you also find your starting gear and equipment and weapons.

Mimir:

Okay.

Wylie:

You're able to draw all those out. There's also a folded piece of a parchment that appears to be blank.

Kipo:

Would we know our weapons? Yes. Okay. As soon as you see them, you recognize this is mine. Immediately lay eyes on his war hammer. Huh. And brings it up if it's uh reach.

Wylie:

Okay, yeah.

Kipo:

Oh, it's in the chest, that's right. Okay, yeah. Yeah, he just grabs that and he gets so excited, and then he now that he has his war hammer goes back to the wall and starts chipping away at the rocks.

Wylie:

So you don't pick up your pack or any other stuff, no, just the hammer.

Mimir:

Uh you see, I grabbed my pack and things like that, but you see this beautifully crafted uh scimitar. Um, and it has a uh Goliath on it, like a figure and a much bigger figure on it. And the the smaller figure is an individual with like uh like a string on it, um, and it's like say like a rock sailing through the air at the gigantic. Uh figure. A scimitar sword? Scimitar. Yeah. Yeah. Sword. And the handle is like gold and it's very much well like crafted. And he puts that and he goes, Very well. And I put all my stuff on and I carry the stuff because I'm assuming he has a plan. So I just grab that, his stuff, and bring it over to him.

Morpheus:

My character sees this. It's a great axe. It's got a lot of etching. It's a double, uh double-headed axe, and so and it's got a really long staff that it's connected to. And it's you know, I got a lot of etching in it. Um and when whenever he sees it, he it's kind of like that thing that brings comfort, but also there's a lot of reverence towards. And so he grabs it and it's kind of like, whew, you know, Clap of this is okay. Um and then Yeah, he sees he's got a scimitar in there also, but it's not as flashy or fancy um as the other one, but it's uh kind of a tried and true, you know, that he grabs also.

Zard:

Yep. Mr. cobble, you uh uh do you have a plan? Oh I grabbed your stuff for you, good sir.

unknown:

Oh.

Cobble:

Thank you. He goes back. You just leave it.

Mimir:

I'm just gonna put it down.

Zard:

Um, um I lick my finger and I'm gonna see if there's any wind coming from anywhere specifically.

Wylie:

Um why don't you give me a nature check?

Mimir:

Can I argue for survival?

Wylie:

Nature.

Mimir:

Okay. Dang it. Uh that's a minus two. Uh that's a nine.

Wylie:

Yeah, I mean, you're in a cave, so there's usually not a lot of airflow. I was just wondering if there was a general, yeah. Um yeah, you could you could look around a little bit more for the entrance. Um you know, the rocks are a little bit damp and slippery. Yeah. Um, so you feel like you're fairly deep, but yeah, there's you can there's two directions you can head.

Mimir:

So cool.

Wylie:

Um I I think there well, yeah, how's everybody's like dark vision situation?

Morpheus:

I've got dark vision up to 60 feet, but

Mimir:

I don't have dark vision.

Brad:

It's just tripping over things.

Mimir:

Okay. But I do have a torch in my bag. i that I can light up.

Morpheus:

I think a rock gnome would.

Kipo:

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah.

Wylie:

And this cave is not completely black dark. There's cracks and fissures on what seem to be the roof of the cavern that are letting in small amounts of light, kind of similar to the little graphic that I've shared with you guys. Um so that's a pretty big one. But there's there's various kind of holes or cracks in the roof that are letting in some light. Okay.

Morpheus:

Um so with the two directions, are they opposite of each other or are they like, you know, we've got two tunnels, right?

Wylie:

Yeah, pretty much, yeah, you have a feeling that it's you're in a big long tunnel that you can go one way or the other.

unknown:

Okay.

Wylie:

It's not like a hugely expansive, like big circular cavern or anything. It's kind of small.

Morpheus:

Hey guys, I feel like we need to just pick a direction and go and try to find our like our way out of this cave.

Zard:

I I agree.

Kipo:

Cobble finding nothing interesting, uh says.

Cobble:

Yeah, let's go find something, uh let's let's go somewhere else where there's maybe some different rocks.

Zard:

I love that idea.

Morpheus:

So with which which direction do we want to go? Which which way do you guys want to go?

Zard:

I let's you pick.

Morpheus:

Uh you know, we're gonna go to the left.

Wylie:

Okay. Okay, here, I'll tell you. So the one way seems to go a little bit up and one way seems to go a little bit down.

Morpheus:

Uh the way that goes up.

Wylie:

Okay, you choose even the left.

Morpheus:

Yeah, which one's the left. Yeah, which one's the left?

Mimir:

He chose left.

Morpheus:

Made a decision without knowing which way it's like we're just going left.

Wylie:

Okay. We run into a little bit. Can you pick odds or evens for me?

Kipo:

Let's go odds.

Wylie:

Okay, and you're seeking to get out of the cavern.

Kipo:

Cobble road sprint. You're gonna sprint? Would sprint. Okay.

Zard:

Are you I'm gonna light up a torch?

Wylie:

Okay. As you light up a torch, you hear and you suddenly feel all of these small things flying past you. There's a swarm of bats. Oh. Roll for initiative.

Mimir:

Oh nice. No, that's accurate. No, that's accurate. I got a 10. 19. That's a natural one. No, that's accurate. That makes sense.

Zard:

Oh my goodness, birds everywhere!

Kipo:

They're over top of us. Yeah, they're no, I'm so short, but yeah.

Wylie:

Yeah, they probably wouldn't be.

Morpheus:

Um I think I picked the wrong direction, guys.

Zard:

You said left. Well, this didn't just happen.

Wylie:

This happened right after he uh lit the torch. So it seems like the smoke and stuff disturbed the bats. The bats rolled at eight. So what was our highest initiative?

Kipo:

Nineteen.

Wylie:

Nineteen. Okay, what do you do?

Kipo:

How many bats? Like a good amount? It's a whole swarm. A whole swarm? Yeah, he'd he probably would stop in his tracks and look up at them and that's it.

Wylie:

Okay, not do anything. No. Okay. Cool. And what was our next initiative?

Morpheus:

I had uh 10.

Wylie:

10, you're next.

Morpheus:

Um we'll see. Being a teenager, uh, he would probably grab his axe and just start swinging at the bats. Okay. Yep. Ah! Oh gosh! Ah, oh no! It just starts swinging. Yeah.

Wylie:

You can roll the hit.

Mimir:

Alright. You also have that d6 inspiration if you want to use it. Let's see. Hold on, where is it? It's right there.

Morpheus:

Aha. So I got a 12.

Mimir:

You can use the d6 inspiration if you don't think it's gonna hit, but it's up to you. I'll say it.

Cobble:

You also have any attack bonus for that?

Mimir:

Not for a great axe, not as a druid. Oh, that's that's right. He's a druid, remember? Yeah.

Wylie:

Um, so you rolled a 12. A 12 hits the bats. Yay! Yeah. So go ahead and roll your damage.

Morpheus:

Uh-huh. 1D twelve. Which one is the 12? Is it the one is it the one?

Kipo:

Yeah. Six.

Wylie:

Okay, awesome. Um, and what type of damage is this from the axe? Is it slashing?

Kipo:

I think it's slashing. Probably slashing.

Wylie:

Okay.

Kipo:

Yeah.

unknown:

Okay.

Kipo:

Unless you hit the bats like on the side of the non-legendation, just

Brad:

I actually just held it up.

Mimir:

Yeah. Just bat like death all over my face. Bat death.

Kipo:

Oh man.

Wylie:

Okay.

Kipo:

I love I love these characters already. Yeah, they're amazing.

Mimir:

Work so well together.

Wylie:

Okay. And we there's actually there's technically two swarms of bats that are like for just like numbers-wise and stuff. So I'm going to put them kind of here and here on our little map. Okay, and it is now the bat's turn. Okay, so because um Morpheus is the one who's doing the damage to the first, they are gonna try to bite you. They didn't roll too well, eight. Total of twelve to bite Morpheus.

unknown:

No.

Wylie:

Okay, so the swarm of bats is swarming all around you. You can feel little bits of their wings and stuff touching you, but they aren't able to land a bite right now. And the second swarm is gonna go. And they try to bite cobble, but they only rolled a three for a total of seven. So does a seven hitcha? Cobble? Oh what? Is it seven?

Mimir:

No.

Wylie:

Okay. So the bats are just you feel them all flurring around you guys, but they're not hurting you yet. And then I think it's uh Zard's turn.

Mimir:

Cool. Um, I am going to go, you shall not be around this place anymore. Uh, and I'm gonna wave my uh fire that I have in my hands towards and try to make like a path uh to move us out of the bats' way and try to intimidate them. Okay, cool. Uh should I roll an intimidation check? Yeah. Sweet. It's a natural 19 for a 24.

Wylie:

Okay, cool. You definitely shoe the one swarm of bats that was near you away. So they were just disrupted by the fire in the first place. They didn't like it, they want to get out. Cool. So they peace out, they're gone. So we just have one swarm left.

Mimir:

Cool. Uh, and then I want to move uh in front of cobble.

unknown:

Okay.

Wylie:

Move in front of cobble, like to block him from the swarm. Yeah. Cool.

Mimir:

Uh protect him.

Wylie:

Great. Do you kind of like hunch over him because you're so tall?

Mimir:

Like, I just I put my hand basically over his entire body.

Wylie:

Cool. All right, and then we're back up to Cobble's turn.

Kipo:

Uh they haven't hit me at all. No, they just I'm facing, I'm ahead of them.

Mimir:

Mm-hmm.

Kipo:

Right?

Mimir:

Yeah, currently. I just moved in front of you. Oh, you just moved in front of you to protect you from the bats.

Kipo:

Oh, okay. Uh, he's still gonna just keep like sprinting the direction that would be headed.

Wylie:

The hip hill direction that you guys were headed. Okay.

Kipo:

Okay, that would be my movement and um a dash. Okay, cool. If we're in combat. So, great, okay.

Wylie:

Yeah, you move really far away. Okay.

Kipo:

Oh, that way, okay.

Wylie:

Just a little. Got it. Morph you are up next.

Morpheus:

Okay, so the bats are still attacking.

Wylie:

They're they're still there, yeah. Yeah. Okay. They haven't lit landed any bites yet, but they're here.

Morpheus:

Okay. Uh honestly, since he saw that that first one worked, he just will keep swinging the axe.

Wylie:

Okay, great. Okay.

Morpheus:

And so do I Yeah, go ahead and roll an attack. 15. You hit him. Nice. And then uh one, D12. D12. Another six.

Wylie:

Okay, and also slashing.

Morpheus:

Yes.

Wylie:

Okay. Like when when you do this, it's a big swarm, and then you notice like three bats fall out of it. Ha ha!

Morpheus:

Yes! I'm killing it.

Zard:

We're doing so wow.

Wylie:

Okay, it's the bat's turn. Ooh, okay, 19. Oh, no. To get more.

Morpheus:

Oh yeah, they they hit me.

Wylie:

They hit you. Okay. And they get to do 2d4. A one and a two. So a total of three piercing damage.

Morpheus:

Let's see. Three. It's like, ow, ow, ow!

Wylie:

Alright, and then next up is Zard.

Zard:

Yeah, I'll do the same thing. I'll be like, get away from him. Do not. Because I I mean these bats were just living here, so I don't want to kill any bats that are just friendly bats. Um, and so I'll just be like, get away from him, creatures. Uh and I'll put the like torch around him. Uh, and so I'll make another intimidation check and see if I can frighten them off. Natural 20.

Wylie:

Okay, they leave. They are gone. So the bats have left. You've scared them all away. There are six dead bats on the ground. Um, and and you guys are free. So you can keep heading out of the tunnel.

Mimir:

Uh cobble's like sprinting. Yeah.

Zard:

And so I'm gonna be like, I think it's time to catch up. We just start running up.

Mimir:

And we're faster than him because he's so small. And so we'll we'll catch up to him. I guess we're sprinting, yeah.

Wylie:

All right, so you guys are able to catch up to him.

Zard:

You guys are just walking. Yeah, exactly. In a hurry, my friend.

Wylie:

As you continue through the cave, you start to hear a I can't do the sound. But insert drip of water.

Kipo:

Oh yeah. Yeah, that's more of a pop. It's that one, yeah. There you go.

Mimir:

I can't do it.

Wylie:

So you hear the dripping of water and you do see some water dripping off of a the one from the ceiling. The stalagite mic.

Kipo:

I think it's tight. Tight tight.

Wylie:

Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, the stalagite is dripping into a pool. It's really dark, like in the cave and stuff, but you could tell that it is a a liquid. So um you you come upon that as you're headed on your way out.

Mimir:

I'll put my arms on uh uh uh cobble and I'll be like, uh cobble. Uh I'll be like, or one second, my friend. Let's see if this water is uh drinkable. Um and I will uh put my tongue out and see if it I can taste, if it's salty or anything like that.

Wylie:

Okay, okay. So I actually have here this is not my drink. This is a drink I've had in this room ready for you to taste.

Mimir:

Ooh, great. It's been in here for weeks. I'm gonna put a drop on my tongue. I mean, why not?

Wylie:

If if you're gonna drink random water that you find in a cave or random liquid, then I'm gonna provide you with a random liquid. I'm gonna put a drip on my Ma mir, Mimir doesn't know what beverage I've given him. He can't see it. It's in a closed thermos, so he just has to sip it and see.

Zard:

Yeah, that's not good. Oh, that's really good.

Mimir:

Oh yeah. I don't know.

Morpheus:

What does it taste like?

Mimir:

Uh it's like bad coffee. I'm the worst one to give coffee because I don't drink coffee.

Wylie:

It is only just iced coffee. I would not poison you. So it is drinkable. It's not poison.

Zard:

All right.

Wylie:

But you can each of your characters can decide if you would fill your your thermoses with this.

Zard:

Uh I mean, just for right now, we can fill it.

Morpheus:

Yeah, yeah. Let's let's just fill it so we have something here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wylie:

And I will kindly give you your beverages afterwards.

Mimir:

Oh, thank you. I need to wash out what you just gave me.

Wylie:

So I felt bad for Mimir

Mimir:

There's gonna be a swoosh in there, by the way, because I'm so happy. That's okay, Kippo.

Wylie:

So everyone, everyone now has beverages again. Right. And it's up to you if you really would like that uh iced coffee flavored water from the cave or not. Okay. Um, so as you guys are moving along, you ultimately do see some light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah. Bringing you outside the cave. And this is what it looks like as you exit the cave. Um as you get to the entrance of the cave, um, you see beautiful plants and ferns, some moss growing around the entrance of the cave. You see towering trees. Um not necessarily like jungle trees, but you know, not palm trees, um, but a lot more like foresty type of trees. And you see the beautiful sunlight filtering through. Um, so it seems to be maybe late morning time as you get on out into the forest.

Mimir:

I will make a note to draw this later in my book.

Wylie:

Okay.

Mimir:

Uh and I will have a chapter uh called The Cave Explorers.

Wylie:

Mm-hmm. The Cave Explorers. Great. Okay, so I'm gonna pull your characters out here and put them on this map. How what how do your characters respond to seeing the forest?

Morpheus:

Let's say my character is just like, oh he just feels very at home now walking into the forest.

Cobble:

How many rocks are around me right now?

Wylie:

Well, at the entrance of the cave, there are a lot of rocks. Yeah.

Kipo:

Are they different than the rocks that

Wylie:

there's some bigger boulders

Kipo:

Okay, perfect. Yeah. So uh Cobble will run up to one of the boulders and uh just be Oh look at you!

Cobble:

Look at you, big guy.

Kipo:

And he like hugs the rock.

Cobble:

Would you like uplifting that he's like, no, no, no, he said he's fine. Oh, okay. He said he's fine.

Zard:

Very well then. I do want not want to disturb your friends.

Brad:

He said he's fine.

Zard:

Making a note in my book.

Kipo:

Watch this one. Yeah. Keep an eye on this guy.

Wylie:

Uh so why doesn't everybody give me a perception check and I'll see what you notice besides just rocks?

Mimir:

Yeah. Ooh, not bad. I got a seven. Ten. Uh fourteen.

Wylie:

Seven, ten, and fourteen. Um so Morpheus, you were just so happy to be in the woods and you're like looking for some familiarity. Um, you don't specifically recognize this woods, but it does have a feel, like you said, that makes you very comfortable um with the big, tall, towering trees. Um I think uh let's see, Cobble was next, right? Next highest.

Kipo:

Yeah.

Wylie:

Ten. Um and so you notice that amongst the rocks, there's also some bone fragments mixed in with some of the rocks around the entrance of this cave. Okay. Um and then Zard, you hear the calls of birds and animals. So you know that there are definitely some creatures out here in this forest. So that's something that you observe.

Mimir:

Any uh I guess I don't have memories, but do I have like feelings of memories? Does that make sense? Like, can I uh call back to maybe like know what birds are around or anything like that?

Wylie:

Yeah, you'd probably have to give me a very like more specific nature check to determine which birds, besides from just um.

Mimir:

I mean, I'm not good with nature. Um, but oh, actually, I'm gonna do something that I'm good at, not just that. Um, I will do like check for any like other tracks besides us.

Wylie:

Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

Mimir:

So I'll do a survival check for that. No joke. Natural 20. This is not this is so abnormal for me. It's this room. I'm only playing DnD in this room. Just for listeners at home, I'm always bad at uh uh like DnD, like rolling. I'm gonna use a different dice because I feel like this one's cursed. So in a good way. In a good way. I'm only using that for important roles.

Wylie:

Okay. So um you observe that there are actually a lot of tracks around this area. Um, because especially a cave, it provides shelter for different animals, but also can be dangerous for other animals, like you just found the bones. Um so you see tracks that look like it's from a big cat.

Mimir:

Oh, okay.

Wylie:

Um, you also see tracks that look like they're from probably a very Large lizard of some kind. And you see evidence of spiders. Very, very large spiders. So you think that maybe if you spent a like with the Nat 20, if you spent more time in the caves, you would probably find some spiders. So you guys probably went the right direction.

Zard:

I'll be like, I'll clap you on the back and I'll be like, good call. There was a lot of uh great nasty nasty, nasty bugs that way.

Morpheus:

Thanks, man. Just glad to be outside again.

Mimir:

I will also uh take like samples. So I'll have like little papers uh in my backpack uh and I'll take samples of like uh the footprints and things like that.

Wylie:

Like you'll sketch some of the what like to scale and everything. So some of the prints like take up how like how big is your journal? You know?

Mimir:

Uh so my journal's like uh the size of my waist. Like it's a big book. Okay, it's a big book.

Wylie:

Yeah. So some of the the tracks take up, you know, two of them would take up a whole page. There's some pretty big tracks around here. You realize there's some big creatures in these woods.

Zard:

I'll be like, all right, everybody, let's not uh be too loud. We probably should be quiet. Um and make sure that we uh don't run into anything unsavory. Uh is there a specific direction that they're going?

Wylie:

So you guys have just exited the cavern.

Mimir:

Okay.

Wylie:

And this isn't a true path that is there, but it can kind of as you as players, it can kind of give you direction. So you don't wait, you don't come out and say, oh, clearly somebody's been walking here all the time. This is uncharted, you know, woods, maybe some small paths, some cure high check of where animals have come through, but nothing that's regularly trodden that's super clear. Um, but it kind of gives you guys as characters a little bit of an option. Do you want to go basically north or s or to the southeast?

Mimir:

Uh I'll look at um my good friend over here.

Zard:

Uh will be like, Morpheus, would you you pick the direction that we go?

Morpheus:

Okay. Let's go left.

Mimir:

Okay. Sweet. Uh seems to be the north. Yeah, it's the left.

Cobble:

Uh Cobble wasn't really paying attention to anything you guys were saying as he was mid-conversation. So he all you hear him is uh as you're kind of like wrapping up or asking about the direction, you just hear okay, well you take care now And he and he walks away from that boulder. And then and now it's a good story.

Zard:

I never knew that boulders could talk, and that's on me. Um I'll be like, well, great. Um would you like to record? And I have like spare journals in my like uh backpack, and I'll be like, would you like to record the story that your friend told you?

Cobble:

Oh no, I'm fine, thank you.

Zard:

Oh, okay.

Morpheus:

I felt like Morpheus and you're like, what is wrong with these guys?

Zard:

Um so I think we we could be a little quieter, I think. Uh because of the giant cats, and we just head up north. Giant Oh yeah, cats here, look at these drawings I made. And there's spiders too.

Cobble:

Oh yeah. Wow. Okay, where are we going?

Morpheus:

Going left.

Wylie:

So, oh, just so I can keep track. So everyone with the inventory, who picked up the folded piece of paper?

Zard:

Um, I I probably would have taken it because it's paper. Yeah. Yeah. It's just extra strap uh because it was blank, right?

Wylie:

Yeah, it was a blank folded piece of paper.

Mimir:

Yeah, so it's just extra uh, you know, scrap paper that I could draw on.

Wylie:

So do you tuck it into your book to keep track of it?

Mimir:

Yeah, I'll put it in the page where we found it because it's like almost like a a story item paper covers with it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don't want to talk, I don't wanna don't even want to show you papers.

Wylie:

So you like scrapbook while you're writing your story too. So you find you know, you're the one that keeps like ticket stubs and puts them in there and a junk journal.

Brad:

I feel like our characters now are the embodiment of rock, paper, scissors now. Like cobble is rock.

Kipo:

This was unplanned.

Brad:

And then I'm just like, you know, throw an axe at it. It's on scissors.

Mimir:

Scissors.

Kipo:

Incredible.

Zard:

Should we find uh schnacks to go uh and see if there's any berries that are okay to eat?

Wylie:

Yeah, you guys can do uh perception check or you you can do perception or nature, whichever is better.

Zard:

Okay. Uh I can help somebody with who has uh better perception. I can help somebody with that.

Brad:

I have I I'll go with uh perception because that's better for the nature.

Mimir:

All right, I will help you with your perception check then, so you get advantage.

unknown:

Oh my gosh.

Mimir:

It's okay. You get a roll twice and take the higher. Oh okay, okay. Cool. Eleven. Gotta go to two and we're both looking at a tree.

Morpheus:

I'm like, hmm, bark.

Wylie:

So you go to two was your best roll. Yeah, that's my best roll. What did uh cobble get?

Cobble:

Eleven.

Wylie:

Eleven. Okay. Um let's see.

Morpheus:

Oh, I guess technically that was uh wait, two plus five. Sorry. So seven. So seven.

Wylie:

Seven and eleven. Seven.

Brad:

The infinite gulp.

Wylie:

That's a reference to our one-off, everybody. You don't find an infinite gulp, unfortunately. Imagine them. You guys can make so much apple juice. Um so uh cobble does find some bushes that did have berries on them. He could tell that they've been picked off. So you haven't found berries yet. Did have yeah, you haven't found berries yet, but you have identified a type of bush that grows berries. So you will have an advantage next time you try to find berries. Okay. And so we decided to go north ish. And who's leading the way?

Mimir:

I would be just close behind. Okay. I'll be in the middle, uh keeping my eye on uh uh cobble also because he seems to be excitable. And so I just want him to be protected on here.

Wylie:

All right, so we move on.

Mimir:

Uh and I don't have my torch anymore. I'll put it out. Okay. Uh put it and put it away.

Wylie:

Okay. And alright. And are you guys like trying to be cautious and carefully just having a nice We're stealthy. We're stealthy. Okay. So he seemed like he was pretty eager to go ahead. So you might want to let Morpheus know that you're stealthy.

Mimir:

Oh yeah, I mentioned uh I mentioned it, but I'll mention it and be like, remember, stealthy. Stealthy. Okay.

Morpheus:

Alright? Okay. Cool. He's pretty light on his feet, other than maybe the big axe claiming. Right. Yeah. Do I need a roll? Oh, rolling.

Wylie:

Yeah, yeah, why don't you all give me a stealth check?

Mimir:

Not great at stealth.

Morpheus:

I got a nine for stealth. 18. I got a 12.

Wylie:

Okay, okay. Pretty good. It's pretty stealthy. So you are the loudest one in front.

Morpheus:

I think I'm being stealthy, but the the axe just keeps clanging, you know. Just king. Just hold it still on your back.

Wylie:

Since we moved into a new area of the map, can you each give me a perception check?

Zard:

Yeah.

Mimir:

My goodness. Oh, I should go back to the dice. I'm not doing six. I got a seven. I got a five.

Zard:

We're doing really good. We're walking so well.

Wylie:

But you have an advantage if you're looking for berries.

Mimir:

Do you want to look for berries also? That was a perception?

Wylie:

Mm-hmm.

Mimir:

Okay. Yes. Twelve.

Wylie:

Twelve. Okay, same thing. You see some bushes that have berries pulled off. But yeah. So at least you're you're kind of getting familiar with that. So you will still have advantage next time you're specifically looking for berries. Um, okay, so you guys are okay. So you guys are moving along through the woods. Um and you do hear some loud, like not really close to you, but it sounds like loud rustling that's maybe a little bit further away.

Zard:

That's not good. Um we we just keep moving and be quiet, right, guys?

Kipo:

We're all being really good. Yeah, that wouldn't shake. That wouldn't shake me. Yeah, yeah. Just keep moving. Yeah. Nature.

Mimir:

Nature being nature. Nature.

Wylie:

Okay, so you guys are kind of walking along the most sort of obvious, like seems to be normal path. There's a slight clearing off to your left, which you can investigate or not. It's up to you.

Zard:

You do enjoy like going left.

Morpheus:

Yes, and uh, I would say uh just with like looking for food, I would I would probably say we go investigate. Being curious. Hey guys, let's let's just take a left right here to this little open field and see what we can find.

Zard:

Cool. I love that idea.

Wylie:

Yeah, so you find this little bit open space in the woods, and everybody give me an investigation check. Cool.

unknown:

Coolie oh investigation. Where'd you go?

Morpheus:

Oh, I got so bad at investigation. I got an 18.

Cobble:

18. Non-natural 20.

Wylie:

Non-natural 20.

Zard:

I rolled an 18, but I have a 16. My intelligence is minus two.

Wylie:

So, Morpheus, you spot a nest on the ground full of large eggs. I'd say about the size of ostrich eggs. Um, you don't necessarily have a reference for an ostrich, but that's you know, how big they are. And um, Cobble, you notice some of the large lizard tracks. The same ones that um Zard showed you in his book are around this nest. And Zard, you don't notice anything.

Kipo:

I'm like, Cobble looks up in the trees.

Wylie:

He looks up in the trees. Okay, are you investigating up in the trees or just like looking around? Okay. Um, you don't see anything immediately above you.

Morpheus:

Okay. Um Morpheus, you'd be like, oh hey guys, check out these eggs.

Zard:

Oh, those are

Morpheus:

we should eat them.

Zard:

Oh, I don't know. That's uh what if somebody came into your house and ate your kids? Well have you thought about that?

Morpheus:

I don't think I have any kids.

Zard:

Uh but would that be bad? Just think about that real quick. Just think about it. See? Not okay. Not okay. Right? Oh, that's all I'm saying. Is it's not okay.

Morpheus:

Yeah, but we need food. Like we have no food right now.

Zard:

I'm doing okay right now.

Morpheus:

I'm starving. His metabolism is just like through the root, and he's just like, I'm so hungry.

Zard:

We have eggs at home.

Morpheus:

Okay, mom.

Zard:

Um, we could eat eggs. Cobble, do you know how to cook egg?

Cobble:

No.

Zard:

Alright.

Kipo:

Still looking around.

Wylie:

Just you're on high alert.

Kipo:

Yeah, not like panicky, but just being just

Zard:

Do you want to get up there? I could toss you up there.

Cobble:

No thanks.

Zard:

Okay. Hey, I'm here to help. Um, I I'd be like, I think I think we're we're okay for right now. Maybe we found some he a couple found some berry bushes and they've all been carrying it, but I'm always stressed about eating somebody else's kids. That's really where I'm at in this situation.

Morpheus:

Oh, okay. Gotcha, got you.

Zard:

Yeah. All right. You can though if you want to. I'm not gonna judge you for it.

Morpheus:

Oh, okay. So you you don't mind if I take an egg? No, I don't mind at all. Okay, okay. I'll I'll take an egg.

Wylie:

Okay, you take an egg.

Morpheus:

Yep.

Wylie:

Okay. And will you are you gonna start eating it?

Morpheus:

No, I'm just gonna pack it. I I think just like with the noises that we heard and everything, I would probably be a little bit on alert, but like, all right, let's take some and take it to go. You know, teens uh eat all their food to go, you know.

Wylie:

Yeah, they go. All right, so you just you've slipped it into your bag.

Morpheus:

Right, right. Okay. It's probably a terrible decision.

Zard:

We could also, you know, if you don't eat it, if we find berries, we could raise it.

Morpheus:

And we could have I can I can now it's like wow, I could now have a child.

Zard:

But now exactly. And if somebody ate that, it would be bad. But you're also like kidnapping too, which is not anyway. Let's get going.

Wylie:

You guys are so desperate for a pet. You want another Jerry, so bad. Okay, so you guys pocket the egg and give me another stealth check as you move away. Yeah.

Mimir:

All right, let's try it again. Ooh. 22. Non-natural 20. Whoa. Ten.

Wylie:

As a group Check, okay. So I'm gonna say that Morpheus kind of stumbles, but you catch Zard catches him. Don't you worry there. He almost drops the egg.

Zard:

Let me carry the egg for you. It's pretty big. I mean, you're strong. Yeah, you're good.

Wylie:

Not trying to insult him.

Zard:

Yeah, yeah.

Wylie:

So you guys are able to move away. As you're leaving, you do hear more of that deep rustling in the woods, but you are able to leave the clearing without incident. And as you continue on north as kind of the only path available at this time, um, you don't it the sounds get further and further away, so you're okay.

Mimir:

Cool.

Wylie:

Alright. So you guys keep moving along the path-ish area, the the moving along through the forest.

Kipo:

Okay. I'll probably look for berries again. Okay.

Mimir:

Um, he has advantage, but yeah. 10.

Morpheus:

10. I would also be looking for berries.

unknown:

Okay. Cool. Nice.

Kipo:

What's this perception?

Wylie:

Uh perception or nature. I'll let you either.

Cobble:

Yeah, 11 and 11 then.

Morpheus:

21 for me.

Wylie:

21. 16 for me. Okay. Um, Morpheus, find some berries.

Morpheus:

Yes.

Wylie:

Oh no.

Morpheus:

I was excited to let solve that.

Mimir:

I'm curious if we ate the egg, what would you give us? The egg. That's what I'm curious. Do you have a raw egg back there?

Wylie:

I would take the raw egg, I would smash it on some bread, I rather.

Brad:

Just be like Rocky, you know, just drinking uh raw egg.

Wylie:

No, but you you get to try that.

Morpheus:

Do I just have to reach in and reach on and grab it? Like you would look in or can I look in?

Wylie:

You can look in, take it in.

Brad:

Oh, I don't know what this is.

Wylie:

You want to describe what they look like?

Morpheus:

They're white, but they have like little brown squares X in. They smell good.

Mimir:

They're poison berries. You're poison. We're calling 911 as we eat.

Morpheus:

It's like a white chocolate and raspberry?

Wylie:

Kind of. Yeah. They're these um things called yogi bites. So uh not a sponsor, but could be. If someone wants to send us snacks for our sessions, we will feature the snacks. They're pretty good. I actually really like yogi bites. They're actually um also in these uh trail mix packets, so you guys might have already eaten some.

Kipo:

Oh, that's funny.

Wylie:

So you guys now have berries. Um, you found some. Are you gonna spend time picking a lot of them or are you just gonna grab it?

Mimir:

I think we can we're not in a rush to go anywhere. Yeah, yeah. If we need food, yeah. Yeah, we'll pick up quite a bit.

Wylie:

Okay. Um, so you guys can have your snacks back. Yay!

Morpheus:

It's like the sole purpose of looking for stuff. Like, I gotta find something to eat because I need my snacks.

Wylie:

Do anybody want some of the yoke nice? I knew that we keep you guys on task.

Morpheus:

Yes. We would still be on task, I swear.

Wylie:

Okay, so I think this one's a mirror's food. I think that I think the big bowl of the green one was here.

unknown:

Gaz up there.

Wylie:

Cheez-its.

unknown:

Yes.

Mimir:

Mm-hmm.

Wylie:

Sour patch kids.

Mimir:

Alright, now we can go and kill some people. I'm loaded now.

Wylie:

And whatever those ones are. Our snack spread includes Oreos, Cheez-Its, Sour Patch Kits, Trail Mix

Mimir:

We should get sponsored by a snack company.

Wylie:

Snack companies, please sponsor them.

Brad:

Little Little Debbie, please. Please, little Debbie, make the rest of my life. Like, oh. Especially like for like Christmas time. They can do the Christmas trees. Oh my gosh. Those are my favorite.

Zard:

These are great berries.

Mimir:

Um, cool.

Wylie:

Okay. Great. So you guys um spend let's say 30 minutes collecting a fair amount of berries, stocking yourselves up.

Morpheus:

Would that be a short rest?

Wylie:

Um well, are you actively collecting berries or are you just chilling?

Morpheus:

Uh oh, that's a good question. No, he would probably be looking for berries. So okay, that's fine.

Wylie:

Yeah. Alright. Um, so you guys can move on and give me one more stealth track and one more uh perception track.

Morpheus:

Okay, so stealth. Ooh. So I got an 18 for stealth.

Wylie:

Nice. Alright, you you're so you're just looking at the berries in your hand. You're thinking about.

Morpheus:

I'm so quiet this time. I'm so focused on being quiet that I have no idea what's around.

Kipo:

Uh nine stealth, and I got a nineteen for perception. Okay, great.

Zard:

Seven and five. It's not good out here. Uh but I got my snacks back. He got some food, and he's just like, this is a great berry. He just keeps yelling it out loud.

Wylie:

Oh, so good. Oh, we were scoping, that's right.

Mimir:

You see a capital tasty written all out in his book.

Wylie:

Joe has a picture of the berries to remember for next time. Um so Kobble, you hear the sound of a creek or a brook up ahead. Um, so you know if you kind of if you continue in this kind of general direction and then head a bit south, you'll probably find a creek and some real fresh water, not that kind of stake stagnant cave water that you guys scooped up before. Okay. Um, so as you guys are moving forward though, you hear a loud rumbling coming in the bushes behind you. Do you hide, stop and look, run?

Zard:

We should fight this time. I'm gonna pull up my sword and I'm gonna be like shut up my sword and get ready for whatever comes.

Wylie:

Okay, so you are currently kind of in the middle. Would you step to the back of the group where the sound is coming from?

Zard:

I'm gonna step in front of cobble. Okay, you are in front of cobble.

Wylie:

Okay. So cobble and then Morpheus is right next to you.

Mimir:

Smallest one. I would be ready to find it. You haven't shown any like capability. Nothing. Absolutely. You have a war hammer, but I'm like that's just for rocks. Yeah. And he has a great axe, so I'm like.

Kipo:

Okay. Oh uh he made it known to the party that he hears water.

Wylie:

Okay, water ahead. Good. Okay. Um, so you hear this kind of thrashing coming through the bushes. And then um out on the path kind of behind you, you see this.

Mimir:

Oh, that's a dinosaur.

Wylie:

So you guys see uh it's a dinosaur. It looks kind of like a it sort of looks like a velociraptor, but it has four legs that it walks on. So um, and it has a head sort of like a velociraptor, it has very sharp teeth, and it has this cool kind of like crest along its back. Um, and this type of dinosaur, if I remember the name right, let's get it right for the dinosaur nerds. It's a Dimetrodon. So this is a Dimetrodon. So it bursts through the bushes behind you. Everybody roll for initiative.

Zard:

Oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool. All my spells are for people, so that's great.

Wylie:

You have like hold person.

Mimir:

Uh-huh. I do have hold person and crowned madness. Which would work, but that's a group thing.

Morpheus:

I got a 22.

Wylie:

Nice.

Zard:

Five. Five. I'm bad I didn't issue the either.

Cobble:

What'd you get? Oh, I'm sorry. Uh 16.

Wylie:

Okay. So first up is gonna be Morpheus, then cobble. Um, what is your dex?

Mimir:

Uh um, you know.

Wylie:

Oh, it's a plus two. Great. 15. Okay, you get to go before the dinosaur.

Mimir:

Cool. You guys are slowly learning my stat plot. I have a seven in intelligence. 15 dex.

Wylie:

Alright, so there is a dinosaur that is burst through the bushes and is looking towards you. You're up first.

Morpheus:

Honestly, I there's a part of me that thinks he'd be like, oh, here, you could have your egg back.

Wylie:

I was thinking literally would if you think you do that, you can do that.

Morpheus:

Okay, then I would. I'm trying to decide what he would do. As a teenager, I feel like he would just toss the egg to you. Like, just like, uh, here you go. Toss it to the dinosaur

Wylie:

so you pull out the egg and you toss it. Yep. Okay, so let's do luck check to see if it breaks or not. Um so odds are evens, and I'll roll. Let's go odds. Odds. Hey, you were lucky last time. Odds what was that? Odds. So you were able to pull this egg out and kind of gently like grandma bowling roll it, like maybe even kind of between your legs, like kind of just jumping. Yeah, just roll it on down. And it just it, you know, their dinosaur eggs are not as thin as just a regular old chicken egg, so it rolls down the path to the dinosaur. Um, you can roll persuasion with advantage to see if you convince this dinosaur.

Mimir:

My bardic Inspiration. That's right. I'll be right out. Yeah. Yeah. Because I feel like you're doing this because I've, you know, chewed you out a little bit.

Morpheus:

So all right, so I got an eight, but then plus plus oh, you said advantage. Advantage, so roll again.

Wylie:

Because you gave back the egg.

Morpheus:

18 plus one is 19. Give that d6. And then I'll be.

Mimir:

We could maybe adopt it. Since it's the regular die.

Brad:

Yeah, that's right. I always forget the D6 is regular. We own this dinosaur. Plus one. There you go. So that's in all 20.

Wylie:

A dirty 20. That's great. Okay, so the dinosaur goes stomp, stomp st and is is looking towards you. Her eyes are focused on you, and she lowers her head and she sniffs the egg that's now in front of her. And it seems like the egg is unharmed. So she doesn't break eye contact with you. She still looks at you as she kind of gently scoops up the egg in her mouth and backs away, still glaring at you, but backs away down the path, taking her egg back to its nest.

Mimir:

There's a little bit of Mamir in here where I really just wanted to have a dinosaur as a pet. Kill it still. No, okay.

Morpheus:

Well, remind me of your character's name again. Zard. Zard. Zard. Okay. Take those notes. And yeah, I should have. Yeah. I think at that point he would probably try to be like, Zard, you were totally right, dude. I'm so sorry. I should have listened.

Zard:

I'm so proud of you. You've done such a great job. Hey. And you didn't instinctively go for your axe. That's great. You're doing fantastic. I'm thirsty. Let's grab some water, huh?

Wylie:

Alright. So you guys can follow Cobble over to the creek. Um walk into the creek. And you guys are able to fill up all of your water jugs.

Morpheus:

Perfect.

Wylie:

You now have food. You now have fresh water. What is your character's priorities?

Morpheus:

Who am I?

Cobble:

What do you think? You are. Are there any rocks in the within the other room?

Wylie:

Roll for rocks. Roll for rocks.

Mimir:

Roll for rocks. I'll be a common one.

Kipo:

Just a uh regular D20?

Wylie:

Yeah, just roll right. 13. Alright. You find 13 great looking pebbles. They're they're pretty regular river rocks, nothing like significant colors.

Kipo:

It doesn't matter to him.

Wylie:

There's some real nice smooth ones, you know, that have been preoccupied.

Cobble:

Nothing around him matters while he's uh examining these pebbles.

Zard:

Do you uh remember anything from before? Uh I'm only looking at him go at uh Morpheus, because I'm like, you remember anything before? Yup.

Morpheus:

Zard, I I don't I don't remember anything, man. Uh I I don't know. I'm just trying to figure out who I am. I I don't remember anything.

Zard:

Interesting. Well I have an inclin inclination that I write down all my stories, but um and I'm like I look through my book and I I probably can't find anything and it's hard to tell because I don't like put my name ever in the stories because that would, you know, not be as fancy if I did.

Wylie:

Right.

Mimir:

So I'm like, I I just have a bunch of different stories of individuals. I don't think I've done all these things, but well, the river's flowing down, correct?

Wylie:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's flowing uh from the north to the south.

Mimir:

Correct. Oh, maybe we could go to like a coastal area going down, or we could go up to maybe a mountain where it's flowing from.

Zard:

I'm more mountain-based, but I don't know about you guys. Oh, he's talking to rocks again.

Cobble:

Yeah, yeah, Cobble's whispering to them as the pebbles are in his hands.

Wylie:

So you two are kind of sitting by the by the edge of the creek, maybe putting your feet in and chatting, and and then Cobble's just hunched over like a golem.

Morpheus:

Just like, what is wrong with this guy? He's talking with rocks.

Zard:

You can't judge other people, alright?

Cobble:

Excuse me.

Zard:

Mr. Cobble, any the uh information from those friends of yours.

Cobble:

Oh what was that?

Zard:

Any uh information of anybody that has passed by from your rock friends.

Cobble:

Oh, let me ask.

Zard:

Okay.

Mimir:

Don't look at the DM like the DM's gonna tell you anything from those rocks. I didn't look over at the DM. Yeah, you better not. I'm just kidding.

Kipo:

I mean, unless you need me to, but

Wylie:

do you have a spell called Talk to Rocks?

Cobble:

No.

Mimir:

No! No, I didn't think this was gonna come up.

Wylie:

No, I don't think you

Cobble:

No, you um He he'll turn back at you.

Zard:

Uh nope, nope, they haven't seen anything. Oh, all right. Well, good information.

Morpheus:

Probably because they don't have eyes.

Zard:

Hey, we can't judge. You know, the egg didn't have eyes, but it was it wasn't important.

Morpheus:

Well, our survival, yes.

Wylie:

It was somebody's child.

Zard:

It was somebody's I only have one eye, remember? Have I lost the other one? Would I be less significant? No.

Morpheus:

But I wouldn't ask you if you've seen anything.

Zard:

Y ou do have a good one.

Kipo:

Um cool.

Wylie:

Um Cobble, as you're looking at the ground a lot, give me a perception check.

Cobble:

Eleven.

Wylie:

Eleven. Um you're looking right at the ground, so you do see footprints that are people footprints. These are humanoid.

Cobble:

The rocks lie in Rome. They're not in Okay. So he gets if he if I see those footprints, he'll get angry at the rocks and he throws them back into the wall into the river.

Wylie:

What does he say as he throws them back in the river?

Cobble:

Nothing. Just like a hump. Liars.

Zard:

Is everything okay there, Cobble?

Cobble:

There's footprints here.

Zard:

Oh, your rocks lard. Uh and I will attack one of the rocks.

Cobble:

One of the ones that I threw.

Zard:

One of the ones that you threw.

Wylie:

So do you just raise your scimitar up and you just stab them straight down into the river? Okay. roll to attack rocks.

Zard:

Naturaly one. I slip and fall into a cracker. Oh, good, you rock.

Wylie:

And then I'm you slip on the wet, slippery rocks, so they have their vengeance.

Morpheus:

Morpheus is like, what is happening?

Zard:

T hat's my tailbone. Oh goodness. Well, where do these footprints grow, I guess?

Wylie:

You could follow the footprints.

Zard:

Yep. Oh, my back.

Morpheus:

Morpheus just takes off for the foot, wherever the footprints are.

Wylie:

You're tracking the footprints. What is your best tracking skill? Investigations, um, nature, perception.

Morpheus:

Perception.

Wylie:

All right, you go ahead and you can survive perception check to follow, to see make sure you can follow those check.

Morpheus:

So you guys survival. Cool.

Zard:

I'll I'll give him uh advantage if that's okay. Yep. Uh that help.

Morpheus:

Seventeen. Oh, okay. At first I thought it was just a seven.

Mimir:

I was like roll again and take the higher. You might get a natural 20 or something. Do I have advantage? Yep. Okay, yep. I'm always helping out. Nope. Loves advantage. Giving people advantage. 17 plus five.

Wylie:

All right. Um, you are able to follow these tracks through the woods. So you guys cross over the creek.

Mimir:

Cool.

Wylie:

Um, and on the other side of the creek, you're able to follow them. And they eventually lead you to a dirt road. A this is clearly a road now. Okay. Um and it's has um tracks in it, like wagon wheel kind of tracks. Um and it kind of again kind of goes north to south, like the creek did. Um so and there's footprints going every direction. Um it there might be a little bit more traffic headed north than south. Okay. Based on the footprints.

Morpheus:

You guys want to go left?

Zard:

Yes, north?

Morpheus:

Sure, left. Okay, awesome.

Zard:

I love that idea. Cobble, how are you doing back there? You doing good?

Cobble:

Y ep. Sounds good.

Morpheus:

Actually, every time that Morpheus is talking about left and right, he always does uh the two L's up to tell which way is left. Do you know which one is left? He's not sure. Cool, cool. He just is like, kind of just takes a step and like, I think this is it.

Zard:

Secretly behind my back, I also do the same thing. Uh, because I have a seven intelligence.

Wylie:

So I'm like, and you try to look at your own hands behind your back.

Zard:

And I'm like, okay, yep. All right, north it is. For some reason I know north and south, though. Yeah, yeah. It's built into my being.

Wylie:

Based on the sun.

Mimir:

Yep, exactly.

Wylie:

Great. Um, so you guys came out of the cave about late morning when you were at the creek. It was around lunch time-ish. And since you guys were sitting there for a bit, if you wanted to take a short rest, you can.

Morpheus:

Sure. Yeah, that'd be awesome. What do you do for um like health?

Wylie:

Yeah, so you have these hit dice. If we find on how many hit dice do you have?

Morpheus:

3d8.

Wylie:

3d8. So you can roll one d8 and see how much it regenerates, and then you can still have your other two.

Mimir:

Plus your constitution, yeah.

Wylie:

Yeah, plus your constitution.

Morpheus:

This is also good for you, Lori. Six plus two. So you heal for that much. But I my my top, I think, is twenty-four. Right, so you'll just max out again. I just go back to twenty-four. Yeah.

Wylie:

And then just note that you only have two hit dice left for any other short rest that you take until until you take a long rest.

Morpheus:

Until I take a long dice.

Wylie:

So you used one hit dice, you have two more left. So, or health dice. Um next time you rest, and then when you take a long rest, you'll get all three back. So you want to keep track of how many you have total. I got you now. Yeah. Okay. So you guys are walking on the road and um you're out on this dirt path. There's trees on both sides because it is going through the forest. Um, you're following along, and then you start to hear a rumbling sound behind you.

Mimir:

Oh, I would like to hop off of the road. Yeah, we'll I'll move off the road.

unknown:

Okay.

Wylie:

Are you guys just off to the side or you'd like to hide behind a button? Hide behind a bush. Roll for self.

Mimir:

Oh, I'm I'm gonna just I'm not hiding. Yeah, I think it's just a thing.

Cobble:

Non-natural 20.

Mimir:

Yeah.

Wylie:

Okay, you are well hidden. Heck yeah, yeah.

Morpheus:

Anyone else hiding or I think it's just a card. I probably would just be like, I'm just gonna do whatever uh big man over here. Big man's doing Whateve Zard's doing.

Wylie:

So I imagine like you maybe you have your the your axe standing on the ground and you kind of rest your hands on top of the double head and you're just sort of standing there with your axe on the side of the road.

Morpheus:

Yep.

Wylie:

Just waiting. Um, and so as the sound gets closer and closer, you can tell that it's two carts or wagons and it's loud though. Like they are moving fast.

Zard:

Cool. I'll be waving. I'll be like Okay. Hello there, friends. Uh, I'll be yelling that before I even say that. Okay. Or see them.

Wylie:

Okay.

Zard:

Um because I know that they're hauling.

Wylie:

So they are just zooming down this path. And um, the driver of the first one that you see looks really intense and is very, very, very focused. He completely ignores you, just going, going, going, and the other one is coming up close behind, and you hear some whoops and some hollers from the one that's following, and they just go flying right past you and they don't stop at all.

Zard:

Um, interesting. Um, I will cast message as they pass, and I'll be like, one second, friend. I uh need I'm in need of assistance. Please help me out.

unknown:

Okay.

Wylie:

Um, please roll persuasion with disadvantage. And are you rolling it at the first wagon or the second?

Mimir:

Uh let's do uh the the first one because if I get them to saw uh uh stop, then I'll be fine. Alright, here we go. That's such a that's a me roll. Uh that's a natural one.

Wylie:

And that's this is a disadvantage roll.

Zard:

So natural one and a 17. Yeah, but it was natural one.

Wylie:

Yeah, yeah. They don't stop, they just fly right past you.

Zard:

Well, I guess they're in a hurry. Um can I try it on the other one or no? It's just too fast.

Wylie:

I think it would be happening too fast, but then

Cobble:

Can i get some berries while I'm in this bush.

Wylie:

Yeah, you can look for berries. Sure.

Kipo:

Fourteen.

Wylie:

Fourteen, roll for berries. You can roll a D20 and see how many berries you find.

Kipo:

Nine.

Wylie:

Nine, you find nine berries.

Mimir:

Does Kippo need more berries? That's good.

Wylie:

Does Kippo want some yogi bites?

Cobble:

I mean, Cobble just figured as they pass by, and then he realized where he was in the bush.

Mimir:

Oh.

Kipo:

Started picking berries up.

Wylie:

Nice.

Kipo:

Uh okay.

Zard:

Strange.

Morpheus:

They were just flying by.

Cobble:

T hey're going the way that we were going.

Wylie:

Yeah, they're going the way you're fine.

Zard:

We'll just follow in behind.

Morpheus:

I guess we'll just follow behind him.

Zard:

All right. All three. Cobble?

Mimir:

Cobble. Oh no, we're going to be.

Cobble:

Yeah, he hops out.

Zard:

Oh goodness, gobble, you scared me.

Cobble:

Oh, sorry.

Morpheus:

Were you looking for rocks again? No. Have you seen something?

Mimir:

Very dismissive. Have you seen rocks? Uh cool. Okay. Yeah, well, can you start locking the road?

Wylie:

Yeah, it at least makes you more confident that you're headed towards civilization. Yeah. So that's helpful.

Mimir:

Um, so you guys can I look behind us and see what they were running from? Because that's that's my assumption, is that they were running from something.

Wylie:

Yeah, you can look back down. Yeah.

Zard:

I don't know why they would be running uh and too busy to stop. Natural 20. No joke, and it's a different die. It's a mini die. This is crazy. I only it's like natural ones or natural twenties, dude. Yeah.

Wylie:

So as you're you're kind of thinking about it and you're kind of like remembering like the expressions on their faces and stuff, you realize they're not running from anything. They were racing.

Zard:

Oh.

Wylie:

They're racing.

Zard:

That's fantastic. I will write that in my journal. I'll be like, you know, this is a racetrack that we're on.

Kipo:

This is a racetrack.

Wylie:

That's a perfect combination of a not one and a not too.

Zard:

Yeah, exactly. I'm I'm so excited. We get a free show. Uh and I will walk uh calmly on the side of the road and um I uh begin to make like uh uh a sign that says, go you uh on it. Almost there. Uh-huh.

Morpheus:

Almost there.

Wylie:

Does it say yay sports?

Zard:

Yeah, yay sports, yeah.

Morpheus:

Go team.

Wylie:

Awesome.

Morpheus:

Wait, who's in first?

Zard:

I don't know. I I'm wondering if we saw first place, or were they racing for last? So that'd be very important, very uh impressive. Good determination there.

unknown:

Wow.

Wylie:

So you guys are walking, following the path, following the cloud of dust that took off ahead of you down the road, you know, um, kind of slightly uphill a little bit, um, some of this time. So you know you're kind of heading to the mountain-ish area. And um the sun is is starting to set. It's starting to look like evening time. Um and you're getting like that faint little bit of chill that comes in the nighttime, so you know that it's not you know total summer where it's gonna stay hot. It's been fairly warm because you've been in the sunshine and everything, but it's it's getting a little bit of a chill. Um, as if, you know, maybe it's it's sort of the End of summer, leading into fall a little bit, you know, that's the kind of season that it feels like to you. And um as you get closer to your destination, you start to hear the sounds of a town, a loud town. You hear loud music, bustling. It sounds like there's a lot of people. And just as the sun is setting, you guys come up on this town, and you see a sign outside. You see you see a sign outside the town that says Erewhon. So this Erewhon spelt when you're ready, I'll spell it for you. Spelled E-R-E W-H O-N. Like the fancy grocery store.

Mimir:

W-H-O-N.

Wylie:

Okay. And um, as the sun is setting, you're seeing the glow from the different windows and stuff in town, but you can tell that it's very rowdy. There are a lot of people having a lot of fun, and there's a lot of noise in that town ahead. And um you'll get to find out more about this town on our next episode.