Blunders and Dragons
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Blunders and Dragons
C1 E2: Erewhon
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In this episode our New Crew - Cobble, Zard and Morpheus (Rock Paper Scissors) finds the spooky town of Erewhon where mysteries multiply as they try to figure out where they are and why they have come.
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You are welcome, listeners, to hear this tale. But fair warning, this adventure is not for the faint of heart. For while this story is fiction, it is also true. And the ending is not happy.
BradHey guys, I'm Brad, and I play Morpheus.
KipoI'm Kipo and I play Cobble.
MimirI'm Mimir and I play Zard Mython.
WylieAnd I'm Wylie Sloane your host in DM. This is Blunders and Dragons. Okay, so our adventurers, RPS, or rock, paper, scissors, as they might soon be known, approach the town of Erewhon. The sun is setting, and you can tell that it's going to be a moonless night. You could hear this town before it even came into view. Everyone there is raccious and wild. It has very tortuga vibes for anyone who's seen Pirates of the Caribbean. And as you approach this town, it seems exciting, but maybe a little bit foreboding as well. So what do your characters do?
MimirI think uh Zard is gonna walk up uh just in charge, and he's gonna find the nearest person, just the nearest individual, and just be like, well, hello there. I'm Zard Mython. Very nice to meet you.
WylieOkay. So there's a variety of like orcs, gnomes, halflings, humans. There's all kinds of people. Um, there's some people sitting around gaming tables, there's some people drinking. Nobody's really paying attention to you. They all kind of seem involved in their own thing. Um it's a little smoky and hazy from different uh fires and torches that are lighting the area as it is um becoming nightfall and getting dark. Um so you can just pick someone and go tap them on the shoulder if you like.
MimirYeah, let me I'm gonna go tap an orc on the shoulder. Yeah, about the same size.
WylieOkay. Um so you tap him on the shoulder and you say something at the same time, or yeah, I'll tap him on the shoulder and I'll go, Well, hello there.
MimirUm I'm just curious uh at where we are and what what is happening in this uh glorious town of yours.
WylieAnd uh the the orc turns around and goes, Uh uh Can you read?
MimirUh yes, actually, I have my own book.
CobbleOh, it says on the sign over there. I can't read, but that's where we are.
MimirOh, okay. Uh look at the sign, and I see that it says um uh how to Erewhon, Erewhon.
WylieMm-hmm. Yeah, and so that guy, he was like he was he turned right back to the gaming table that he's playing at. He is really focused on that. He didn't want to be bothered.
KipoHmm. Okay, what um what time is it?
WylieSo it's it's sunset, like twilight. Oh, okay.
KipoSo this is that kind of accurate with the picture. Okay. Yeah.
WylieGreat.
KipoHmm.
WylieAnd so it kind of seems like everyone's kind of wrapped up if they were doing work. It seems like they've wrapped up their work day. Just now starting to um it's it's pretty wild already, though. You have a feeling that maybe this town has parties a lot because it seems like like it, you don't feel like you just walked out of as everyone's coming out of their homes. You feel like this party's been going on for a long time. There's a lot um of things happening. As you guys are um approaching, you see that there are some vendors that have, you know, their shops, but all of the shop doors and windows have bars on them. And um you see a guy kind of opening up and he's he looks like he's just opening his shop up for the evening, and um you hear a shout from behind you, Wam moo moo! And you're surprised, and you turn around and you see this um halfling, and his arms are full of these beanbag dolls, and they look like they're made out of a little white flower sack, and then they have sort of cow spots painted on them in different colors, and they all have really ugly faces. And this guy looks intense, and he's screaming, mo moo moo! And he runs past you towards the vendor that is opening up, and he pushes through you guys, and he has you know multiple of these different dolls that are all slightly different. Some have different colored paint spots, some have different accessories and bows, and he's charging towards that vendor looking like he's ready to buy another one.
MimirWow. He's a collector.
BradI think uh more Morpheus would probably just be like, I'm just gonna follow that guy. Like he seems really passionate about these these things, so he's gonna go check out what it's all what all the the rave is about.
WylieOkay, okay. Um so you follow him right up to the vendor?
BradYep, right up to the vendor.
WylieOkay. So he he's pushing past anybody else who seems like they might beat him to the counter, even though he's just a little half-ling. He's like kicking people's kneecaps and elbowing people in the side because everyone's kind of focused on their own thing. And no one else seems this excited about you know the the dolls, but he seems extremely excited. Um so he runs up and he's he's digging in his pocket at the same time and he says, I'll take the newest one! And he slams the cash onto the counter, and um the vendor pulls out another ugly cow doll that looks almost exactly the same. This one just has a pink bow on its ear, and none of his other ones have a pink bow. So he looks really excited to get this doll.
MorpheusUm Morpheus surprised because we're like, Hey, hey man, what what what's up with these uh what are they again? La moumu! Yeah, what what what what's up with these la moo moo?
WylieYou don't know about la moumu?
MorpheusNo.
WylieThey are the coolest, well there's not that many of them. Are you gonna try to buy them?
BradI I don't know. I don't know anything about them.
WylieWell, they're really cool. Each one is a little bit different, and this vendor here, he only releases one every single week. And I have to wait until it comes out. And I gotta beat anyone else because I want to get the whole collection. Because each one is unique and special. And I want them all.
BradOh, wow. Okay. Uh so like what what what do you do with them?
WylieI collect them.
BradSo you just collect them. Do you do you sell them?
WylieNo. If I sold them, I wouldn't have them. And then I show people my collection.
BradOh.
WylieAnd I'm the only one who has them all.
BradOkay, so so nobody else has bought these from this vendor.
WylieSome well, sometimes he makes a couple other ones, but I've gotten one of every single type. I always get the first one.
BradOh, okay, okay. So he still has more for sale, just not the first one that you got.
WylieYeah. Maybe. I don't know.
BradOh, okay.
MimirHe's really defensive. Is this yeah.
KipoIs this picture of uh Town Square accurate? Yeah. Okay. Cobble uh wants to go climb that tree. Okay. We split up immediately.
WylieImmediately. Um so you're still standing by the the Lamumu stand.
BradA new kid.
WylieAnd uh maybe another kid round your age, you know, like uh got kind of a young teen. And then um, so cobble heads towards the tree. And um, what do you do?
KipoI want to climb it.
WylieJust climb it, just head on the up, climb it. Okay. And uh does Zard do anything?
MimirUm I'm not super intelligent. Um I'm trying to figure out what to do. I don't re I mean, I've lost both of my party members almost immediately. Um I'm gonna set up a place where I can tell a story, maybe. Like, I'll set up like uh an area where I can be like find a box or something? Yeah, find a box and be like, who wants to hear a story from the legendary Zard Mython?
WylieOkay. Oh, and I forgot, can you guys all give me your passive perception? So for um people who are new to DD, that's usually your perception modifier plus ten or uh your wisdom, usually your wisdom modifier plus ten.
MimirUh Zard is 11.
Wylie11.
Mimir14.
BradIs it this one down here? 13?
WylieYep. 11, 14, and 15.
MimirAll right, guys.
UnknownYeah. 22.
MimirYeah, Jared 22.
WylieUm so you do notice as you were speaking to that kid, his eyes are mostly black. Like he was speaking to you with intensity, and so you could really see him opening up his eyes wide, and so his like eyes are pretty much take like um like those creepy movies when they're like is it their pupils? Is that the right part of the eye? The whole thing is just black. Yeah. Almost like almost no whites to the eyes at all.
MimirOh that's not good.
WylieOkay, so Cobble's climbing a tree?
KipoI'm sure that's normal. Yeah, I love you found that tree. Yeah, I just want to go up and sit and kind of like uh just look around, get a better eye. Um is anybody up in the tree already? I don't see anybody in the picture.
WylieYeah, so as you're walking towards the tree, there's nobody else in the tree, and um you do feel a tug on your pocket.
KipoOh.
WylieAnd um you look down and your rocks are on the ground right at your feet.
KipoI have to pick them up immediately and put them back up. Um I guess I could be a little bit more careful to watch out for pickpockets in this. Okay.
WylieYeah, if you want to.
KipoI would like to to uh to guard them as I walk.
WylieSo you guard your rocks.
KipoI'll pick them back up and I'll I'll scurry a little faster to the tree.
WylieOkay, and they're back in your pockets.
KipoBack in the yeah.
WylieThe rocks are back in your pockets. Okay.
KipoI have them in just so you know. So they're in like a a bag that has strings.
BradLike a drawstring bag.
KipoYeah, like a drawstring. Like they shouldn't just like that, yeah. But if they fall, like they shouldn't spill out, because I have them like pretty protected. Yes. So that's I could have clarified that. They jumped out. I didn't know I was gonna be pickpocketed.
MimirThey jumped out. So you you did catch it in the progress. They jumped out. The rocks jumped out. They're alive, remembered? You're dotting boom. No, they can't. They want to escape. Oh, that's insane. So remember the rocks lie. That's right.
WylieAnd uh so Zard, as you're starting to set up your um your little storytelling corner, you are finding it hard because this is a jostling crowd. It seems like people are not really respecting other people's spaces, and it's very loud and extremely boisterous.
MimirOkay. Uh, I'm gonna shift paces. I might go play one of the games. Okay. Um, and do I have gold on me?
WylieI think I do not. Oh, I don't have any. You guys don't have any money. Okay. That was not in your gear.
BradSo I can't buy a la moo-moo b.
MimirI should get people. Um yeah. So I'm gonna go actually and see if uh okay, so I can't make money by telling a story because there's too many rambunctious people around here. Uh is there a bard or something? Maybe I can uh get familiarity with uh another storyteller of some sort. Oh, okay. Like where music is coming from.
WylieUm so it seems like there's music coming from maybe inside the tavern. Okay. Maybe. Um, but yeah, there's not anyone playing outside.
MimirOkay. Uh then I will walk towards uh the tavern. Actually, I'm gonna collect you. I'm gonna head over to you actually. Uh over to um over to Morpheus over here.
WylieAnd you probably lost all sight of Cobble because he's short and it's crowded. He's just taking off for the tree.
ZardLet's see. There you are, Morpheus. Hello, what what's going on over here?
MorpheusOh, uh apparently I found this vendor that sells these, they're called Lamumu. Uh, but I just noticed there's this kid that's really, really excited about him, but his eyes are like all they're they're like all black. Well, I don't know. It's kind of weird. But let me see here. And at this time, Morpheus would probably start to look around to see if other people have the same with their eyes. Do I need to roll?
WylieYeah, give me a uh perception check.
BradNatural 20. Wow.
WylieYou feel certain, even in the darkness and the smoke, that everyone in this town has black eyes. Like it's just like all of a sudden, it's just like you just suddenly you're like there, there, there, there, there, there. Like you're just spotting it.
MimirHe sees the code more frequency.
WylieAnd it it definitely gives you an an easiness because it's creepy looking. And um, you do feel like everybody has this like real intensity. Like people seem like they can't really see beyond just themselves. Like they are just so focused on these things that they're enjoying and this, you know, whatever they happen, like the guy who didn't want to be interrupted from his game and stuff like that. Like, um, it just seems like, you know, real real crazy. Uh Koble's probably up a tree by now.
KipoOkay, is there a way to see from that vantage point where the carts that we were tracking went?
WylieOkay. Um, I would say with this crowd and stuff, it doesn't look like the carts necessarily came through here.
KipoOh, okay. Like they just went the direction of this town.
WylieYeah, they might have pulled around the town, like they didn't come right through this the center square. This is where we are. Yeah, this is the center square. And the town, it the whole vibe of the town, it looks like it was like a really nice town, but that like people don't take very good care of it, kind of, because that takes work. And so it seems like it was like, oh, this this seems like a really nice place, but then of course we've got the bars on all the windows. Um, and it, you know, things kind of seem like they were very well done, but are kind of run down and not that well taken care of. Right.
BradUm, also Morpheus looking, what does the uh the vendor also have black eyes? Mm-hmm.
WylieYes. Yeah. And so when the vendor took the money, he had this like greedy look on his face as he was gathering up the money and sticking it into his pocket.
BradI kind of I'm kind of curious about um so I will say in the picture, there's this one like, I guess, hut or like uh building. And it looks like it has a really big door opening and like a green light out of it. Um I would probably start wanting to make my way that way just to see what's because I I would definitely feel uneasy with everybody having black eyes now and focusing on that, but maybe trying to figure out what's happening.
ZardOkay. Morpheus, you okay, my friend?
MorpheusYeah, I I just I I I noticed that everybody around here, like, their their eyes are black and like they're they're just really focused on whatever they're just enjoying, but they they don't want anything else to do with anything or anyone else. Oh. Unless it's involving what they're doing, what they enjoy. Okay. Uh well that's there's there's this uh I don't know. Do you see that building over there with the with the green light kind of coming out of it? I I don't know if maybe we should check that out.
ZardUh yeah, let's let's round up cobble first, uh, because he's in a Cobble! Cobble! Where are you, Cobble?
KipoUm, can I throw a rock?
WylieYes.
BradIs it one of your lying rocks?
KipoI t's just yeah. One one that uh is disposable to get their attention rather than yelling because after seeing that these people are a little bit hostile, uh, he does not want to draw any more attention to himself. He's not like, you know, perched up on the branch out in the open. He's kind of I mean he's small. He's rock gnome, kind of blends in. Um so he's just gonna he's been looking at you guys from the vantage point. And I guess I have I have pretty good hearing. I would say. I'm pretty loud. Yeah, and you are pretty loud. So I'll uh I'll try to toss a rock in their general direction.
WylieOkay. Yeah. So you've got your rocks for keeping and your rocks for using. Just a little pebble. And this is one of the things that you're doing.
KipoNothing that would be like hurtful to anybody, just uh little pebble. Yeah.
WylieWhy don't you go ahead and roll it kind of like an attack just to see if you can hit him? Please.
KipoOkay.
WylieOh.
KipoUh that's a 15 on the roll. Okay. Um I don't know what my throwing would be, but yeah.
WylieOkay, so you you throw a pebble, and so Zard, um, you feel a pebble. Hit your side of your forehead.
ZardWe're under attack. I'm just kidding, I'm taking it, I'm doing it. We just start attacking the battle. My time has come. Um die in a glorious battle.
MimirI start slaying people around me.
WylieNo, I guess we'll never know what happens in this town.
ZardExactly. Uh, and I'll be like, Oh, I found our friend. I'm waving at you. There you are, cobble. There he is. Jump down, I'll catch you. A couple. I would like to attempt to catch a cobble.
WylieOkay. Um, why don't you enroll me an athletics check?
MimirOh, please. Please get a cobble.
BradPlease drop them.
MimirUh my athletics.
WylieHow high up do you think you climbed?
MimirUm as high as possible. Five feet.
WylieNo, I'm just gonna feet's pretty good.
MimirYeah. I don't see the most. Oh, 17 plus three. It's unnatural 20.
WylieUnnatural 20. You absolutely catch him.
MimirI catch you with one hand, and I'm like, Oh, there you go. Perfect. And I put you on my shoulder and I'm I love it. I'm like, all right, Mr. Cobbler, come up.
KipoEspecially like any harm to the rocks he hates, so the fact that he's now up and above where people could try to pickpock is better.
MimirSo I will now just head towards that door and I'll be like, oh, clear away for us.
ZardExcuse me, pardon me.
MimirHow tall are you? Uh I'm like seven foot. Yeah. I'm I'm really perfect. Excuse me, pardon me. Uh excuse me, uh excuse me, ma'am. Um and I'm just gonna clear away towards uh the uh doorway. Okay, cool.
WylieOh okay. Um so you're clearing away towards the doorway, perfect. You guys head on over there. Um and so as you get closer, there's a big guy standing outside the door with his arms crossed. And um it do you walk up like you're gonna go in or trying to get a good look at him?
ZardI'll talk to the gentleman because he looks like a bouncer, right? That's kind of the vibe I get. I'm like, excuse me, sir, I am uh new to this town, uh, and we saw this amazing glowing door. Uh what what is this?
WylieSo do you want tickets for the lottery or do you want tickets to watch?
ZardGive me two seconds.
MimirAnd I turn I turn I I lift you up and I put you in my like arm and I look to you and I'm like, I kind of want to go to the lottery. I don't know what that means, but sounds pretty excited. We don't have money though. That's the thing.
MorpheusI guess the question is do we have to pay for the lottery or do we just get something out of it?
MimirOh, that's a good question. Um, I have a follow up question, good gentleman. Um the lottery, is it a uh item that we have to pay for, or do we like Could you explain a little bit more about what is uh
WylieYeah, so you're real new around here.
MimirYeah, we literally just walked in and we woke up without memory. So we're doing pretty good.
WylieOkay, so the way it works is you buy tickets for the lottery. Okay. If you win, one person wins every night. One person. We do the lottery every day. One person wins, they get to go in for the feast. Everybody else has to pay tickets and they get to watch and see what he gets to eat. And it's a special feast that's made every night by Mr. Feast.
CobbleOh, that sounds dumb.
MimirCobble, mind your manners. Uh remember, this is not our hometown, which I don't know where it is.
WylieSo the guy the guy looks up at Cobble and he says, Well, maybe if you saw what was at this feast, you'd think it was pretty interesting. You should buy some tickets and watch and see what it's all about. Yeah, could you give like what was yesterday's feast? Oh, I can't tell you that. Oh, were you not there? I don't always get to watch, but it's proprietary.
MimirOh, so they don't let their own bodyguard not watch?
WylieWell, if I'm watching the door, I can't watch the feast, can I?
MimirHonestly, that sounds like a real big missed opportunity on your part. You know, we could probably just walk in with you and you could watch every single night if you really think about it.
MorpheusYeah, if you want, I can watch the door for you while you go in.
MimirYeah, he's a young one.
WylieI don't really like to watch it. I just like to make money. So that's why I'm here.
MimirHe also has black eyes.
ZardThat's interesting. Um, give me two seconds. And I flip uh a cobble onto my arm again and I go, I'm not gonna lie. The Mr. Feast sounds really bad. He sounds like a bad guy. Only feeding one person a night seems pretty crazy to me.
MorpheusYeah, I d I really don't understand the vibe here and what's going on.
CobbleWhy are we here?
ZardI I don't remember we don't have memory. We're trying to figure out why we have memory. Or why we don't have memory. I know how to talk, all right? I hit my head pretty hard. Have you forgotten words? I did forget some words. My intelligence is seven.
WylieYou're a storyteller with a seven intelligence.
MimirYeah, well, because he uses his wisdom to cover up his uh intelligence.
WylieSo you forget some words, but they're still really good stories.
MimirExactly.
WylieUm so uh as you guys are uh do kind of debating this, um, you you hear a voice behind you that says, um, well, uh, but mm um Mr. Beast is the richest guy in town, so it's a good idea to work for him. And you turn around and look for the source of this voice.
MimirYeah, I'll flip around.
WylieEveryone give me perception check.
MimirCobble, you're on my shoulder still. Ten.
BradDo do it. You had a two. Yeah, okay, yeah. Hold on, but let's see. What did you say it was? Perception.
KipoOh, seven.
WylieOkay, seven for me. Okay.
MimirUh thirteen for me.
WylieThirteen. None of you can see the source of this voice.
MimirI'm gonna be like, like, where's that voice coming from? Oh, okay, I'm glad you hear it too.
ZardUm I would love to meet Mr. Feast, I think.
KipoWhat's behind him? Just so I can see, like, we walked up to this, okay, this doorway, and there's a bodyguard in front of it.
WylieCan we like behind it? It's a foyer. So you can't there's like more doors behind.
KipoBut it's like glowing blue.
WylieYeah, there's like some like kind of like foggy like windows.
KipoCool. So he's the only bodyguard.
WylieYeah. Because it it seems like maybe that tonight's feast has gotten going.
MimirNo, I have the same vibe as you. Um do you? Yeah. Sure. I I think he's about to try to sneak in. No, I think Well, here. I could cast hold person. Uh okay. Um What kind of creature is the bodyguard? Uh he's a orc. What is he wearing?
WylieUm like basic armor, kind of like what you'd see in the picture. Like uh, they kind of got these um but what are the shoulder pad things?
KipoShoulder pads. Yeah. Shoulder pads. Yeah, great.
WylieFrom the 80s. Shoulder pads from the weird leather bandolier.
KipoI see other pictures here, but we don't know that they exist.
WylieYeah, you haven't gotten into the tavern or anything. Okay.
MimirUh yeah. I would love to meet Mr. Feast and uh provide our a uh maybe like uh utility to him, uh, if there is a possibility. Maybe a job interview.
WylieAre you talking to the bodyguard?
BradNot to the random voice I can't say unembodied voice.
WylieOkay. Um so the bodyguard says um Well, he's working right now, but maybe you come back tomorrow you could talk to him. Oh. Because like the feast is going on right now.
MimirOh, they're eating currently?
WylieYeah.
MimirDo you know what's on the menu? Wait, so wait, hold up.
WylieThe menu is a surprise every night.
ZardOh.
MimirAnd if you don't like you're allergic to the menu, do you get What's allergic? Oh, okay. Well, you know, that's on me. It's the best food. Oh, it's the literal best food. Okay. Hmm. Alright. Well, we will be back uh tomorrow. Um be like, what are your guys' thoughts? Uh, as we're kind of walking away, can we find like an empty space where we can chat where no one is listening to us?
WylieYeah, you can kinda like deck into an alley.
MimirYeah. Okay.
WylieYeah.
MimirI'll be like, I don't know about this place, but I feel like Mr. Feast has like this weird thing going on here. That's kind of my thought.
CobbleI don't know how this is gonna help us figure out who we are and what we're doing here.
MimirIt's a good point. I just like solving and writing down stories for Mr. Feast.
CobbleYeah, I can understand that.
WylieYou hear the um the little voice again, the same one. Um, and you hear, and he says, uh, are you guys are you guys looking for something? You need some help. And you turn you turn around.
ZardIs that one of your rocks? Rocks do speak.
CobbleMaybe.
WylieAnd you see this little character. Yeah, he's he's not hiding this time. Sorry, he rolled a Nat 20 the first time.
MimirWell, guess what? We didn't roll anywhere close.
WylieSo um you see uh this little looks looks like little halfling, little m maybe halfly gnome, partially. Um looks like a young kid with curly brown hair. Um he's got a bit of a raggy black cloak on, and um, he's definitely dressed like a rogue, like what we would consider a typical kind of DD rogue. He's he's got a little satchel and and he um has a little dagger at his waist. He's not holding it out threatening towards anything. He does have black eyes.
BradOkay.
ZardWe're like, hello, what's your name, little one?
WylieYou could call the Mr. Daggers.
ZardOkay.
MorpheusI wonder what he likes.
MimirMr. Daggers. I write that down in my book. Um, and I'll be like, you know how to uh help lost citizens as ourselves.
WylieI know everything about this town.
ZardOh, wonderful. What's with the black eyes?
WylieWhat are you talking about?
MimirWell, he doesn't know everything, everybody.
BradI know everything about this town. What are you talking about? Exactly.
MimirI just love I love the idea of a like a very straight because he's not intelligent. He's like, I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna fool anybody in this way. And so he's just like, just super straightforward individual.
WylieAll right. Well, good to know. Do you like do you like want a black eye? Do you want to like get in a fight or something?
MimirI don't think you want to fight me, little one.
WylieSome people like to fight.
ZardI'm not much- I don't like to fight.
WylieI just thought you might want to get in on a fight. No, like I know where all the fights are.
ZardOh, okay.
MorpheusI'll fight. I'll fight anybody. You won't fight? Whoa, chill, chill. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
WylieSome people pay to fight and some people get paid to fight. So it kind of depends on what you want to do.
MorpheusOh, I mean we could use some money.
ZardWe could get into a fight for money. Um, but um, I have a question. Do you know about the jungle that's right down the road?
WylieI know a little bit about the jungle. It's not as cool as a town.
ZardOh, okay. Um, I was just curious. Uh we woke up in a cave. I don't know why I'm telling you this. To be honest with you, you haven't provided much information. Uh but I'm the straight shooter.
BradBut you you love you love to tell the story there.
ZardSo I love to tell it. We we woke up in this town and uh or this cave, not the town, and we have no memory of ourselves. So I was just curious if you maybe uh know us or her have met us, maybe.
WylieUh well, I I've probably seen about everybody in this town, and I don't think I've seen you guys before.
ZardEver? No. Oh, that's good. That's good information.
CobbleWhere's her a good place to eat?
WylieUm, well, the tavern right here, that's one of the best places to eat. But you gotta have gold. Everything in this town costs money.
CobbleDo you have gold?
WylieYeah, of course I got gold.
MorpheusCan we have it?
WylieI don't just give people my gold.
MorpheusI'll fight you for it.
WylieI don't fight people either. I like gold, not fighting.
MorpheusAh, dang it.
ZardHow did you earn your gold, little one?
WylieI take it out of people's pockets.
ZardOh, so you stole?
WylieI just take what I find. This guy only has rocks, and he points to you.
CobbleHe doesn't know that.
BradOh, he's the one he's the one that's the one that tried to nick you.
WylieWhen your rocks fell out of your pocket.
CobbleYes, but they're magic rocks.
WylieThey're magic rocks?
CobbleOf course they are.
WylieWhat do they do?
CobbleWell, it depends on if they like you or not.
WylieOh. If they like you, what do they do?
CobbleT hey give you special powers.
WylieThat sounds pretty cool.
KipoSo he is lying. Um I don't know, just for your sake, if I need to roll anything.
WylieYeah, do you want to roll a um he's he's pretty naive, so he's not gonna get a plus to it. But yeah, you roll a deception and he'll roll an insight.
KipoOkay. Okay.
Cobble18.
WylieHe rolled a natural eighteen.
MimirWell, we roll. Or no, meets it beats it.
WylieUsually meets it beats. So he he's just he's not totally convinced either way.
KipoOkay.
WylieHe's uh he's not like you're totally lines.
KipoLike everybody. Okay, so let me take let me take one out of my um pocket.
WylieUh-huh.
KipoAnd he I will cast minor illusion on it.
MimirYeah? Yeah. Okay. I will cast minor illusion, and the rock will like have a bird pop out of it.
WylieOh, like a like a holographic bird?
MimirYeah, like a holographic bird, and then it will like swoop pi by this kid's face and then disappear into the sky.
WylieOkay, so Cobble pulls out a rock in his hand and holds it up, and then you do this.
MimirAnd then I will uh man. I will cast Minor Illusion on it. I just really want to believe in this.
KipoSo I was gonna do something else, but because he beat me to it, I have to kind of like act like this is exactly what he was trying for this to do. He's got just a little jump. So he's got a little bit of a jump.
CobbleUm and so he goes Oh, sorry, that one's a new one.
KipoUm he sees the bird fly away and all that stuff and pops back.
BradUm I don't know why, but I was hoping you just like hit the kid in the face of the rock. Just throw.
KipoThat's what I was going to do.
MimirThat's what you're gonna do.
KipoNo, what I was going to do is throw the rock up in the air, watch him watch it in the air, and then hit him while it was in the air. That's good. But you did something first. So uh that's what happened.
WylieSo the little bird flies past his face. Yeah. And he goes, Oh, that's kind of cool, I guess. Um, but how does that help you get gold?
CobbleY ou're a pickpocket. Distraction is half the battle.
BradAlso, I think you should pay him for the show, man. Like, literally, he just gave you a show. You wanna buy some rocks?
WylieHmm, I'm gonna see if he wants to buy some rocks.
MimirCan I give him Bardic inspiration with that magic trick that I did? Um or advantage.
WylieLet's see. So persuasion, yeah, we'll do persuasion for it. So you can give him persuasion with advantage for what you did. Okay. So you're gonna roll a persuasion.
MimirWith advantage. I don't think it's on the I thought my charisma was higher.
WylieIt is not that's a seven. Ah, he did roll a ten, just a natural ten. So yeah, um, he's like, Yeah, I don't know, I like my gold. But that's cool. So do you guys need to go somewhere to spend the night or something, or like get some dinner? What do you guys need?
ZardWhere's your parents, young one?
WylieParents. What needs parents?
CobbleA nd why are you offering to help us?
WylieBecause sometimes the value is not just in gold.
ZardOh, it's in favor. That's what it is, right?
WylieThat's what you were saying. Maybe I'd do you a favor, maybe you do me a favor later.
ZardI don't know about that. That seems a little suspicious to me. Hmm. Well, Mr. Daggers, uh, you can always find us. Um I don't know uh what my colleagues uh think.
KipoI'm gonna go to the tavern.
ZardI think I also go to the tavern. Yeah. Um, we will meet you maybe later and talk to you uh about uh some business uh things.
WylieOkay, if you need a tour guide later, let me know.
MimirAlright, I will signal you by uh another bird in the sky.
WylieI'm not that and he he puts his hands to make like a little bird and he goes Caw-Caw!
ZardWow, you're really good at noises.
MimirAnd then uh and then we'll head to the tavern.
WylieOkay, and he disappears. Alright, so you guys walk on over to the main tavern. It seems like there's a few taverns on the street, but it's kind of the biggest one. Um and so very smoky vibe inside, crowded. Uh people are elbowing each other, you know, fighting over tables. It's very similar to the vibe that was outside. Um, I think I'll kind of put up the map version of it here. So this one doesn't have any characters and stuff on it for you, but um, it kind of gives you a little bit better idea of the layout.
MimirCan I make a like persuasion or insight check of any kind of or maybe even arcana check of any kind of like, is this like a curse that is on them? Like, can I can I feel that out?
WylieYeah.
MimirUh would that be an arcana?
WylieYeah. Yeah. An arcana, I think, would do it.
MimirOh no. Man, we're not rolling good today, guys. It's not except for Brad. Oh, I forgot that I'm dumb.
KipoUm good job seeing that all the eyes are black.
MimirUm I rolled a four and I got uh I have negative two in Arcana. So I got two and I'm like, curs. Ooh, that would be a cool title name. Um and I get shot.
WylieYeah. Um yeah, you don't know even whatever your best theory is right now, that's your theory. So cool. Yeah, so you head on inside the tavern.
ZardUm I'll be like, uh is it is the door big enough? Um there's orcs here. So I I think it's a big thing. Yeah, how tall are you? I'm like seven foot something.
WylieYeah. Seven foot two. I think. Since this is like one of the biggest taverns, I'll say it has a pretty big door. And there's some that maybe look like they're more accustomed to like smaller folk, like, oh, there's maybe one that serves like more halfling ale, um, you know, different specialty bars and stuff like that. But this one, um, since it's like definitely the biggest one that you can see right here on the street, this is seems to be the town's main square. So it's the most accommodating for everyone. They probably realized, hey, if we make our doors big enough, everyone can come in. So we don't alienate any customers. And um, this one has a cool as you step into the smoky, crowded tavern, you see the bar, and behind the bar there's this cool tree that actually the bar has the tavern has been built around. Ooh, cool.
KipoUm you know.
WylieCobble loves trees. Um and so that's in the center. There's a big fireplace. Um, there is a bard kind of over near the fireplace in the little bit of open area by the edge of the bar that's playing some fiddle music and stuff. And um, there's kind of a sort of loft area as you walk up the stairs, and there's more tables and stuff up there. But it is even though this picture doesn't show all the other characters, is pretty jam-packed in here. Okay.
MimirUm so uh just for the record, uh, I am seven feet tall and six inches. So that's how tall I am.
CobbleOkay.
MimirSo it is now lore accurate. Um and uh I will have Cobble on my uh shoulder until he does not want to be there anymore. I'll be like, Cobble, do you have any ideas what to do? I am at loss. Both physically and mentally.
KipoUm let's see. I'm just trying to think of I'm not speaking for him. Um I'm just trying to think. One, when's the last time we really ate anything? It was the just like berries in the forest, and we have no money. However, there is food around. So we can either go and get like scraps or try and find some money somehow, or win some money somehow. Um are there games going on?
MimirYeah, well, that's what I was trying to, but you have to bet to win. Does that make sense? You have to have money first to win the game. Um, and we can't really make uh basically I'll be messaging these guys because I have the message cantrip. So we're not talking, uh I'll be like, well, We um can't really make friends.
WylieSo this is the first time you hear his words in your head and his mouth isn't moving. Yeah.
MorpheusWhat is happening?
ZardI'm casting a spell on you. You're not no, you're okay.
BradIt's just me. He just starts running around.
MorpheusNo.
BradAll right.
MimirYou know about the messenge spell, right? Yeah. Okay, cool. Um
CobbleI'm a cleric, so we've lost one of our I'm like, oh man.
WylieHey, get off of me. You run into somebody. Yeah. Someone spills their drink as you run it.
MimirYou can't really make friends, um, per se. Um we could maybe do some illegal activity. Yeah. Um, or I don't know if we can get any information. I think the only individual that we won't be black eyed is Mr. Feast. That's kind of my thing. I feel like he's the mayor of this town that really feels it. Like he's I don't know. That's kind of where I'm at.
BradI will say, uh, probably the idea that um Morpheus has as he's running around, still just like, what is happening? But just eventually he's like, you know what? I'm just gonna go talk to the the barkeep. And so just walks up to the bar. How old is uh Morpheus? He he's probably too young to drink. He's a teen. Oh okay.
MimirSo I erases Morpheus? Elf. Elf. Oh yeah, he's way too young if he's a teen elf. Yeah. He looks like a baby. Yeah, exactly.
WylieHe's probably actually like 25, like on paper, but he's like 12.
MorpheusSo he would probably go up to the the barkeep. He's probably like, hey, uh, I've got a couple questions.
WylieUm okay, and so the the barkeep leans over and is like, all right then, what can I get you?
BradOh, uh do you have any like gnome ale?
WylieYou don't look old enough to be drinking gnome ale. Well how about a glass of milk?
BradSure.
MimirOkay. Well I'm really hard. You know what? I'll take it.
BradHe's kind of like, I'll take whatever I can get. Yeah, yeah. Like, I tried, and then okay, now I'll just take whatever.
WylieSo uh they reached under the um bar and pulled out a glass jug, and um like that'll be two gold.
BradUh see that's the problem. I don't have any gold on me, and how can I get gold?
WylieYou don't have any gold?
MorpheusNo, I just woke up in a cave like two hours ago. Milk?
WylieI got a lot of dishes that need washing.
MorpheusThat's a great idea. Okay. How how how how much would you pay for that?
WylieOne hour dishwashing, one gold.
MimirThat's a really good offer. Is it a good offer? It's a great offer.
WylieTwo gold for milk is expensive.
MimirYeah, I was gonna say that's just you know, like usually um and it might be different, especially in this area where they're like throwing gold around. But usually gold is like a month's weight. That's right. That's right, yeah, true. It's like the best deal ever that you could get.
WylieSo you will have to work for two hours for a glass of milk.
BradRight. He'll he'll probably he'd probably put in one hour.
WylieUm, there's a couple people behind the bar. It's because it seems like a hopping place.
ZardSo cobble stone. What do you think?
WylieAlright, then you want to come on back to the kitchen?
MorpheusYeah, yeah, let's do it.
WylieAnd they like um they lead you on back to the kitchen. So I guess you step away from it.
MimirYou gotta jump that quickly.
CobbleYeah, go look at him go! I'm not that very skilled in stealing things. Oh, you're not skilled in it? I'm not skilled in stealing things.
ZardUm anyway. I could make you more skilled in things like that, but I don't know if that's what we should be doing. Yeah, I know. Um I would love to talk to um do we see these individuals that are highlighted in front of us?
WylieUm, yeah, you could you could see like a kind of gnomish individual that you could speak to sitting at a table or a dwarvish individual.
ZardYeah, I want to go over to the dwarvis dwarvish individual. Um, and I'll be like, excuse me, gentlemen, uh uh Sir. He's alone. Um I was curious, uh, who is the mayor of this town?
WylieOh, the mayor. The mayor of this place.
MimirYep.
WylieIt's changed a few times. He doesn't really leave his mansion much.
MimirUh, where is his mansion?
WylieUpon Fancy Street.
MimirFancy street. Fancy street. Alright. Um what what is your occupation that you do around here?
WylieUh I do this or that. A lot of different things.
MimirAlright. That's very specific and uh very um straightforward that I should not ask any deeper questions to that. Um and I'll be like, um I'm a Zard Very nice to meet you.
WylieOkay. I just I just want to have a drink to myself.
MimirOh card. Um I apologize for interrupting you. Uh your uh uh lovely drink sesh. Drink sesh. Again, he's not intelligent, he's just uh lays. Um and he'll be like very well. Cobble, I'm out of options. I think we go to fancy street.
CobbleI don't know what to do either.
ZardWe have an hour that we have to wait, so
Morpheusactually, it doesn't mean that like you'll stick it out. No, no, yeah, for an hour.
MimirNo, I know.
BradYeah, yeah.
MimirIt's just like he's he should work hard for his money. And I think a gold is good to work with. And also if we we could probably gamble later with this.
KipoYeah, lose it immediately.
WylieSo uh so you're in the kitchen and and you're you're doing the dishes, and as the plates come back, you see that some of the plates have scraps on them still.
BradOoh. I would absolutely like put that to the side and like hold it, right?
WylieOkay, so you start collecting like a scrap plate.
BradYes, absolutely.
WylieAll right.
BradYeah.
WylieOkay. And um why don't you give me some kind of check to see how good you're doing on the dishes to see if your uh new boss is gonna be pleased.
MimirI was gonna say, I've never done a dishwashing check in DD. That's crazy.
WylieI think we'll call that slight of hand.
MimirYeah.
BradOh man, we're so bad at this slide of hand. Mm-hmm. It's uh eight.
WylieEight. Okay. Um you almost break some of the dishes. Almost. Almost.
MimirAlmost.
WylieUm and that's impressive because they're metal dishes. This place, it seems like they found that the most cost-effective way to not have their dishes be broken.
MimirYou just hear climbing. Metal climbing. Like the hobbit, you know, where they're like super they're like cleaning Bilbo's uh dishes and like throwing. But you're not doing it in a musical pattern. You're like, oh, that's fun. That's you want to everywhere. Yeah.
WylieYou get some soap on the floor, you fall over, like anyone who just sees you from like the doorway that's open to the kitchen, like you just see whoop bubbles. There's so many bubbles coming out of the sink. So um I don't think they're gonna be super pleased when they eventually come back and see. But you do have a plate full of food.
MorpheusSo I go ahead and uh I take my break, you know. Yeah, 10 minutes in. And then I bring after because I've like picked, I'll say I've probably picked some of the food for myself, but I'm also like, ah, here you go, guys. And I just bring out a plate, like, for each of them that has that has food on it, right? Yeah, yeah. I I just kind of sit and chill while I'm taking my break. Yeah. That's crazy.
MimirThat's insane.
BradYou have to remember he's a teen.
WylieNo, this completely checks out. I think this is very valid.
MimirDid you wash this dish before you put the scraps on?
MorpheusUh yeah. Definitely.
ZardI don't believe you. Don't need a roll for um Um and I'll be like, all right, uh, wonderful. Um we have come you're on your break right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
MorpheusI've got a 10-minute video.
MimirI didn't know they were union.
MorpheusSigned up right before I walked in the door.
MimirYeah. Uh um well, what should we do then? I have zero clue. I think we should try to find fancy street and maybe break into the mayor's house or whatever, and see if he's around. I guess he's switched a couple of times, so that's something. I I just feel like all these people are obsessed with doing the things that they're doing.
MorpheusSo what's going on? I I don't know. I've just been washing dishes. So who's the mayor?
ZardUh we don't know who the mayor is, we just know where he lives.
MorpheusOh, okay.
ZardAll right. He lives on a mansion on Fancy Street. Fancy Street. Oh, that's pretty fancy. I'm wondering if it's Mr. Feast, but I'm not totally sure. They really uh are straightforward with the names. So that's let's see.
WylieAnd so it's it's pretty loud in here. So it's hard for you guys to talk. And um, if you're thinking of like trying to spend the night here, it you get the idea you probably wouldn't get very much sleep.
MimirYeah. Um well with the talking thing, I'm just casting a message, so then they can just reply into my head. Yeah. Uh, because I figured that's what was going on. No, no, no, you're okay. No, you're hard. Um, let's see here.
MorpheusGet out of my head.
ZardDo you want to quit?
WylieAt just about that time, you hear, hey, where's the guy that was supposed to be doing the dishes?
MorpheusOh, I'm right here. I'm just taking my break.
WylieW hat are you doing with the a break? Yeah, like these dishes aren't clean. Get out. You're eating, get out.
ZardAll right. I guess we're kicked out now.
MimirUh, we will get up and leave.
MorpheusI guess I had a job and then I lost it.
ZardYeah, you it was literally 10 minutes, dude. It's just the worst you could be doing.
WylieBut you got a dinner out of it.
MorpheusThat's true. That is true. I do feel a little bit.
WylieWe got a dinner. Yeah. Alright, so you guys get kicked out of the tavern. The barkeep comes up behind you and shishes you along, shoes you out, they're waving the dishcloth at you.
ZardAll right, we'll get out, we'll get out, don't you worry.
WylieAnd it did make it and they slam the door behind you. And so just as you guys step out into the street, the crowd is surging, and there seems to be kind of like a wave of a group of people that come swooping by. So everybody give me a dexterity saving throw.
KipoDid I hit it? You tossed it, then you hit it, so I gotta read it in mid-air. Oh.
BradI have an unnatural 20.
WylieUnnatural 20.
Kipo12.
MimirUh, I got a 23.
WylieOkay. So this is perfect. Up on your shoulders?
ZardIs he on up on my shoulders? I haven't put him up there yet.
WylieI don't think so because you guys are just coming out the door. So um it makes sense that uh Zard is kind of so big that he's able to kind of step over to the side and shoulder his way through. And um then our our uh I'm forgetting your name. Morpheus, Morpheus. Morpheus, Morpheus. Morpheus makes uh he's dashes, you know, spins around.
MorpheusHe's so light.
WylieBut um, but poor little cobble gets swept up in the crowd and pushed along.
ZardCobble, where'd you go, Cobble? My boy! Now I'm just kidding. Cobble, where'd you go?
WylieUh I will look for Cobble, shoving through the crowd, being like, You see, as you see Cobble's little hands in the air
ZardCobble, there you are.
WylieAnd he's he's getting swept up. You can't quite reach him, he's ahead of you in the crowd, and this crowd is swooping in to what looks kind of like a big barn with these big barn doors that are open, and you can hear some shouting and cheering and loud music as you guys are are getting put as he's going pushed on in there, so you can follow him and if you're gonna go back to the case.
MorpheusYeah, so you gotta show my way through. I just follow the trail of rocks that have been left behind. I will pick up the trail of rocks as we're like
ZardI'm like shoving through, and I'm like, no, his friends.
KipoThis is a good reminder. I just need everyone to know that the rocks that Kobble collects are not special in any way. Like they are literally like gravel that you would find and on the side of the road. There's not there's no value to them. They don't look amazing.
WylieThey're just do they at least like feel nice in your hands?
KipoNo.
WylieNo, they're like pointing.
KipoNo, they're not even smooth, like nice rocks that you like.
BradYou're you're actually gonna offend like some like uh rock. Yeah, some rook. No, every rock is special, man. Geology.
WylieThis pebble is older than your brain.
KipoWhich could be true, but I'm just talking about, you know, like in our day-to-day lives, sometimes you come across a nice rock and you keep it. These are not those rocks. That's all I'm saying. I still pick them up. Okay, thank you.
WylieZard and morpheus are really know that you care about them despite them being completely in-amazing.
MimirWell, it's actually the only thing I know about you.
WylieSo As Cobble, as you get swept up in the crowd, you are brought into this great big barn. Uh, it's more well lit than the rest of the town. You can see that there's crowds around a circular ring in the center, and you hear a voice that seems to be amplified saying, Ladies and gentlemen, come inside for tonight's fight.
ZardHey, hey, I'm I'm in the fight too. Yeah, I'm gonna jump in. I'm gonna go.
WylieSo Zar pushes his way in. I'll push in, yeah. Um and so the announcer says, Ah, we have a new contender, because he can see you. He can't see Cabble at all. And I'll be like, Cobble was on.
ZardIt's me and my squad. I'll pick up Cobble from the ground and I'll put him on my shoulder, and then I'll be like, And the most fearsome of them all. Stand back as he is a legend among legends.
BradHe jumps, I morphe jump, is like, you know, tries to be like really like but it just comes out really high pitches.
MimirI'll I'll make minor illusion of like uh like explosions of fireworks behind him.
BradCan you can you give macro illusion of muscles? I can't fix it. I can't fix it.
WylieThat would be a major illusion. Okay. Um so you guys are swept in your you somehow end up at the edge of this ring. Um and the announcer says, Well, fantastic! We have some contenders that will be fighting against our regular trio.
MimirYes, we have signed up, and the prize pool right, is us. We're getting the prize pool because we're gonna win.
WylieAnd uh somebody somebody elbows you and he says, Um, uh, contenders are not allowed to bet themselves.
MimirOh, okay. Well, we don't have any money, so do they win something?
WylieStipend for winners. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Small proceeds. Um and so the announcer says, Um, what can we call our new group?
MimirOh, we know.
ZardI look, I look at them and I go, Rock, paper, and scissors RPS.
WylieAnd the announcer goes, Well, fantastic. Rock, paper, and scissors. Tonight you will be up against um Billy Bob and his goblin.
MimirSorry, Billy Bob and who?
WylieGuys, this parts improv, i didnt.. Hang on, I gotta go to my sheet of NP name.
MimirThey're the regular trio. They're the regular trio.
BradBilly Bob and I was I was just transported back to South Mississippi with the name like Billy Bob. And I was like, I love orcs with like mullets.
MimirThat's what I'm picturing is three orcs with mullets all come out.
BradBilly Bob has a mullet, but it also has the perm in it too, you know. Yeah, it's got the curls to it. Yeah.
WylieOkay. Um, okay, I have a better name for them. Okay.
BradI love Billy Bob, honestly.
MimirThis is you. This is whatever. Well, but I love Billy Bob. You're creating a world around us. Immerse us in it.
WylieUm everyone, put your hands together for our regulars. For our regulars, Billy Bob. Snap and crackle.
ZardWhoa, that's a good oh man.
BradWow. I think for some reason I feel like there should have been a pop, but maybe he got replaced. I don't know. I think he died. He popped too hard. Yeah.
WylieAnd so you see, stepping into the ring is a bug bear and two goblins. Oh. And so that's who you're going to be facing. And so the announcer says, Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.
ZardUh, I'm going to act weak. I'm going to be like, oh, ooh, I think I popped off my hair. Bring, oh, that hurt.
CobbleI would like to sit on the ground, uh, crisscross applesauce style, please. And be counting the rocks that these two had picked up for me and giving me back, so I do a full count, knowing that I have all of my rocks in my bag.
WylieRoll for rocks.
KipoOh, okay. Ooh, roll for rocks. Oh, hold on. Where's your rocks? Not yeah. Wasn't really, you have 17 rocks.
WylieWow.
KipoThat's all of them. Then we pick up more. Yeah. I did. I just started picking up a bunch of rocks.
MimirI don't know what the difference is.
CobbleYou hear him like go to a new one.
WylieYou have three new rocks.
KipoIs it okay if Cobble was not paying attention and has no idea what's going on? Sure.
WylieYeah, yeah. So you're just sitting on the side like uh Like in the ring, though.
KipoWait a minute. I put you down in the middle of the room. Oh, you did a ring, yeah. But I was way too preoccupied with my rocks.
WylieSo Cobble's in the ring. You're kind of limping up to the edge of the ring.
MimirYou're my hip. Ooh, that's I'm trying to not be intimidating, so we win more money, guys.
BradNo, it uh Morpheus doesn't understand that and tries to be more menacing, but is definitely failing.
KipoHe's trying to help the cause. Exactly.
MimirPerception check versus his persuasion check.
WylieOkay. So how does Morpheus enter the ring?
BradOh, Morpheus like enters uh but probably trips over the wall.
MimirYeah, ropes.
WylieYeah, ropes like a box scene.
BradTrips over the ropes. Oh, this is so cool. Probably gets tangled up in the ropes, you know, a little bit, then stumbles out, but it's just like but still, yeah, definitely not scary in the slightest. Just holding, just holding his axe above his head, you know. Yep. This teenage elf. Yeah.
WylieOkay. And um, so you hear the announcer say, um, combatants, take your positions. And everybody roll for initiative.
MimirI'm gonna look down and I'm gonna be like, Cobble, we're in a fight now. Yeah, we're fighting.
KipoAnd he looks in front of him and he sees the bugbear and two goblins. It's okay, I know what I rolled. Okay. Um I've just now figured out the reason why we don't normally all roll into one is they hit each other like uh it's fun though.
WylieIt's ridiculous that you guys are sharing the tiniest dice tray. And I have this massive one over here just for me.
BradUh I got an eighteen.
WylieEighteen?
MimirI also got an eighteen. Let's go.
KipoSeven.
WylieSeven. The um your combatants rolled a one. Let's hold so um Who wants to go first? Do we want Morpheus or I guess Morpheus always wants to go first?
MimirMorpheus will go first and my hip is hurting. In quotation. Yeah.
KipoJust so I know what the rules are for this fight because it is like a controlled in air quotes. A controlled fight. Tag in, or is all are all six of us in the
WylieYeah, this is this is a team team death match. It's a pretty big ring. Yeah.
KipoWe're all just face to face. 12 by 12 foot ring.
WylieI'd say it's like what would be a good like um a little bit smaller than one ring of a three-ring circus?
MimirYeah.
WylieOkay.
KipoYeah, I like that.
WylieYeah. And um so like it's a it's a very big barn with like a tent roof. Oh. Kind of like a um, so it's a more more permanent than just a tent, but it has like kind of a little bit of a circus-y vibe because it's very entertainment-oriented and stuff.
KipoUm I might want to use surrounding areas. Could you just describe a little bit more what we're seeing in the atmosphere around us? Like are we down lower than the crowd? The crowd is up like a normal stadium, or is it all the same?
WylieYeah, I think there's some ble bleacher seating.
KipoThere is some bleacher seating.
WylieYeah, so there's some bleacher seating around the edge, so you do feel very like kind of closed in.
KipoAnd there's even ropes coming from the ceiling.
WylieUm let's see.
KipoBut there's poles because it's a tent.
WylieYeah, there's some poles, but they're not like in the ring, obviously. They're you know, they're kind of more like around the backs of the bleachers. Okay. I'd say, so they're not like super close. And I don't think there's any ropes um up in the rafters or anything because it's it's it it's a per pretty permanent structure. It seems like it's here all the time. It's the fighting hall.
BradSo for the ring, is it like a is it square?
WylieCircular.
BradCircular.
WylieWell, you know what? Sorry, for D and D purposes, we'll just make it square.
BradOkay. And does it have the the posts on each corner?
WylieAs posts and ropes.
BradPosts and ropes. All right.
WylieSo it has just like our wrestling situation.
KipoLet me hear the bell, buddy. Let me hear the bell.
WylieAnd uh so then the anouncer says um the the only rule is no fatalities. So um you're supposed to do non-lethal damage.
BradOh, okay.
WylieSo everyone everyone's doing non-lethal.
BradSo we believe. So as for someone who's new to DD, uh with non-lethal, can I still swing my battle axe?
WylieMm-hmm.
BradYou can't just say you just like non-lethal.
WylieYeah.
BradAnd swing. Okay.
WylieYeah, so you could like hit him with the the broadside.
BradOkay, okay.
KipoYour character doesn't have to say non-lethal.
BradRight, right, right. Although that would be hilarious. That would be hilarious.
MimirI'm doing non-lethal.
ZardMe too, friend.
WylieGreat if Morpheus doesn't really understand the rules.
BradHe actually kills everyone. We actually have to pay money now that we don't have. Yeah.
WylieUm, okay, and so then you you guys have taken your place, and so it's going to be you three, and then um your combatants. You he you've you've taken your positions, and then you hear ding ding, and the battle begins with Morpheus.
BradAll right. Morpheus is 100% just going for the big guy.
WylieOkay, the big guy.
BradYep, going big guy.
WylieAlright, roll to hit him.
BradAlright.
WylieThis is Billy Bob.
BradDang it, I was on a 14. So I got uh six.
MimirWhich one do I add? You minus your whatever you have on your minus battle axe, remember? Because you're using the big axe? Yeah, the great axe.
KipoYeah, you don't get any bonus. It's zero.
BradSo just uh six.
WylieOkay, and you miss. So describe what happens when you run up to hit him.
BradAlright, so uh what I see in my mind of Morphist is running up, just kind of like, ah, you know, and is about to swing, and uh he just trips and just face plants on the mat and then gets up really quickly. Okay.
MimirOkay, good catch. Yeah. Don't be running through.
BradAnd and looks around like, I hope nobody saw that. Although obviously everyone saw it. Everyone saw it.
WylieZard your up next.
MimirI was like, you're doing a cobble job pretending my.
CobbleCobble goes, oof.
ZardUm, and I will be like, I need to know each of your names so I may write your story. And I take out this uh very nice scimitar, and I go, you, and I point at the bugbear. You shall tell me your story, and I will cast Crown of Madness on him. He needs to make a um wisdom saving throw. Okay. My DC is 13.
WylieOkay. Six.
MimirWonderful. Um he uh is charmed and must use its action uh before moving on each of its turns to make a melee attack against a creature other than itself, uh, that you mentally choose. So I do not I don't choose uh my friend uh Morpheus, but I choose whoever is standing next to him that's our enemy. Okay. Um and then uh the target can act normally on its turn uh if you choose no creature. So uh and then each of uh my turns uh I must use uh my action to uh maintain control.
WylieOkay, and does he have to re-roll every time or he doesn't get to re-roll?
MimirAt the end of uh each of its turns.
WylieAt the end of each of its turns, he gets to re-roll concentration. Okay, great. Okay, so he is going to attack Snap on his turn, but it's not his turn yet. It is Cobble's turn.
MimirUm I do have a bonus action. Oh yes, go ahead. I will be like, Cobble, you have inspired me. And now I will inspire you. I have and I pull out uh my book uh with one hand and flip to a page of this massive rock like elemental individual. I have no name for this rock elemental, and I will name it Cobble after my good friend. And I will give you an inspiration. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Uh and then I will move backwards. So you were you were never within melee range of them, but you keep yourself. I'm just gonna, yeah, I'm just gonna move back uh to one of the ropes and I'm gonna be like, check this out.
KipoUh to the crowd. Oh, this is perfect. Yeah. Great. So it's uh it's Cobbles turn. He just saw Morpheus uh swing and fall, and then you cast uh the crown of madness, and then gave me some inspiration uh with that beautiful um speech, beautiful little miniature speech. So, yes, thank you. Uh so now he's ready. He's sitting there still cross-legged on the ground, um, facing the three uh the three other people. And so uh I I have to this is the first time of doing this with this characters, and this is gonna be very fun. But so what you see now before you is Cobble had his bag of rocks in front of him sitting there, and so before your eyes, the bag opens, the rocks start floating out of the bag very slowly in front of him, you know, just little pebbles and whatnot, and you just see them starting to spiral and circle and glow this green color, and they kind of in a flash of light become this big rock that's uploading as I cast spiritual weapon.
MimirOkay, I totally for I thought you were a wizard this whole time. For some reason I'm a cleric.
WylieAnd you hear you hear just in the faintest voice from the stand saying, Wow, the rocks are magic. No, yeah, he's here, he's Mr. Daggers. Maybe from the Raffters somewhere, I'm not sure.
KipoUh so for the listeners at home and definitely not myself reading this for the first time, you create a floating spectral weapon within range that lasts for the duration, or until you cast a spell again. When you cast the spell, you can make a melee spell attack against a creature within range, 60 feet. And uh within five feet of the weapon. So I cast it in front, eventually it's gonna be it right in front of all three of them. Uh on a hit, force takes uh the target takes force damage equal to 1d8 plus my spell casting ability modifier. As a bonus action, I can move the weapon up to 20 feet and repeat uh the attack against a creature within five feet of it.
WylieSo you cast it pretty close to Billy Bob, I assume. He's the biggest.
KipoYeah.
WylieAnd um so you don't have to move it because then you cast it right next to him.
KipoYes.
WylieOkay. So you cast a this this rock comes and appears right next to Billy Bob.
KipoAnd it hits him because it's force damage.
WylieOkay. And I think it rolls to hit though still.
KipoYes. Yes. Yeah, here let me do that.
CobbleOh.
KipoThat was so close to an rolls were maybe bad. Was it? Yeah. Don't tell me that. I mean, sorry. Uh give me one second. I have it right here. Spell attack bonus. Yeah. Six.
WylieSix total? Oh, I mean. So this big rock appears next to Billy Bob.
KipoIt's not there. Still there's a big thing. The beginning was cool. That's your bonus action. What's my bonus action? Casting that spell.
WylieSpiritual weapon.
KipoYeah. So you have an action if you want to do something else. Just to ram it again? No.
WylieSo is cast casting it is.
MimirCasting it. Yeah, and it attacking is a bonus action. Yeah, it is. So you have like you can attack with your main weapon or whatever if you have a main weapon.
WylieYou just can't cast another spell.
KipoJust can't cast another spell. I do. Can't cast another spell. Or you can just dismiss, and then uh, can I throw a pebble?
WylieSure. Yeah, an unarmed strike kind of situation. Sure.
KipoIt's literally gonna do nothing, but it might do something. Natural one. Okay.
WylieYou you try to throw a pebble and if like falls out of your hands and arm! Oh gosh!
BradYeah, he actually just hits Morpheus in the back of the head.
WylieMorpheus, who is ahead of you? Insult to injury.
KipoThis is going so well.
MimirAnd I said, watch this to the crowd before this, and I'm like, oh.
BradIt looked cool, so it wasn't.
WylieYou had convinced there was a few people who didn't buy your act that you were insufficient in this combat, and now they're really regretting their bets. So it's now gonna be Billy Bob's turn.
MimirHe has to attack an ally.
WylieHe has to attack an ally, so he's gonna go for a goblin. He's probably gonna hit. That's pretty good.
MimirUm I know. I was just yeah, that's why I did it, guys.
WylieOh yeah. So he hits the goblin with his uh morning star. Nice. So that's a pretty big weapon. He's probably gonna take out his buddy. We'll see. Um so it's two d8 plus two. So unless I roll really bad, this goblin is not gonna be around for much longer. So two.
BradThat wasn't on me.
WylieA one and a four. So five plus two, so a total of seven, which is exactly s uh snaps. Wait, was it snap? Yes, it was exactly his hit points. So he he so Billy Bob just has this like stunned look on his face, and he he just turns and swings just very casually. He swings his big morning star and it just takes out Snap, who's right next to him. Is it non-lethal? It's non-lethal. Okay, sure. And because it was just exactly his hit points, and so Snap goes and he gets like flattened and he crumples into a heap. So Snap is now taken out with a single hit. Um and now it's Crackle's.
MorpheusBilly Bob is also on our team.
KipoNo, he's not. That money's as good as our worst for man.
MorpheusIf we could just get him to hit his other guy, band himself.
WylieUm so crack uh crackle is up next, and he like he's looking so confused, and he's like, Billy Bob, what are you doing? And he like like tries to kind of smack him, and then he didn't uh Billy Bob roll his uh saving throw? He did not, thank you.
MimirI will roll that. Um what Snap you mean? No, uh Billy Bob because for his crown of madness. Oh, gotcha, gotcha.
WylieHe rolled a natural 18.
MimirYep, he succeeds.
WylieOkay, so he's not gonna do that again. Yep. So he just he kind of shakes his head and he's like confused and he's looking at Crackle and he's like, Oh, what happened to Snap? He like doesn't remember. And um, so Crackle's like, You killed him! Like, you didn't actually kill him, but he's blaming him. And uh he's like, get it together, man! And he runs up towards Morpheus and he um swings his scimitar at 15 to hit you.
BradUh my armor class is 15.
WylieOkay, if it meets the beats, so he hits you. Okay. Um so we're gonna it's a 1d6 plus 2. Two plus two is four. So he hits you for four damage.
MimirOkay. All right. Are you raging? I'm just kidding.
WylieAnd so that's the end of his turn. So we go back up to the top of our initiative, it's Morpheus' turn.
ZardYou got a pardon.
BradUh what did he hit him with?
WylieA scimitar.
BradOh, a scimitar. Yeah. Um, I guess at that point Morpheus is just hyped up and is like, I'm I'm just gonna hit whoever is in front of me. So I guess crackle with it. So he just goes for crackle with the great axe. Ooh.
MimirWait, wait, wait. You don't add anything. I don't, that's right. 17.
WylieYou hit it, you hit it. You have all your damage.
BradAlright, and then what is it? Uh DMD 12. Yeah. 12 plus zero. Yeah. Let's see. Which one's it? Uh.
MimirI can't wait until you never figure out that you're not supposed to use this weapon.
BradLike you didn't succeeding. A 10
KipoMy gosh. Non-lethal.
BradNon-lethal. Non-lethal of non-lethal damage.
WylieSo describe how Morpheus hits crackle. So uh Do you like spin your battle axe?
BradI think I think what it is is that he got hit and literally he just had the axe in his hand and it hit him and spun him into where he just spun back around and the axe just like knocked him out. Yeah, but knocked crackle off his feet, and then you hear crack, you know. Yeah.
WylieYou uh slam it broadside right into crackle, um, and he goes flying back against the ropes just like Snap did and crumples to the ground, and you do hear some crackles kind of like um when you go to the chiropractor and things get all popped out of place because that was a like kind of a bludgeoning hit.
BradYou you also see just the surprise on uh Morpheus' face, just like, what how did I do that?
MimirPerfect.
WylieAwesome. Is Morpheus's turn so um and if you're not gonna do anything else, Zard is up next. That's it.
BradMaybe you'll maybe he'll no, dude. No, he's gonna stay where he is. That's that's you don't want to go and get get in front of the big dude.
ZardNo, I'm just gonna stay where I am. Um Zard will be like, uh I'll put away a book uh in my pocket and I'll be like, ladies and gentlemen, are you not entertained? We are RPS. RP Earth. I'm trying to get a chant yellow.
WylieAnd you you hear you hear a voice say, they they've only hit one guy so far. Okay.
MimirWell, all right, hold on.
WylieUh and then well then didn't um uh You could do if you want to you could do a persuasion check for the crowd.
MimirI love to. Yes. A little persuasion. I'm gonna roll. We've been rolling so bad with and we all switch dice when we so oh that's so sad. I've been rolling bad uh even with my switch dice, but that's normal me. Uh that's a eight total.
WylieYeah, crowds. Crowds not there are so one?
ZardAll right. Well, I'll prove it to you then. Uh and then I will walk up to the individual.
WylieTo um Billy Bob. Yep. Only one left.
ZardI will say, Billy Bob, your story is a good one. Uh, and then I will attack him. Uh and I will use defenses uh defense uh defense defensive flourish uh will do something else. Um and it'll add damage if I hit. Uh that is a 20 non-natural.
WylieOoh, yes, you hit him.
MimirCool. So defensive flourish is my subclass. I am a barred swords subclass. Um and so instead of uh usually inspiring people, which you can still do, um, I can also add it to uh a flourish of some sort. And so I used defensive flourish, which will give me an extra d6 of damage, but it also will add that d6 to my AC, which is really cool. Okay. Uh so my AC goes up to 19. Well, um, and uh I do a total of nine slashing damage to him. Uh non-lethal um across the face, and I'll be like, and I'll be like, your story will be written in the days to come. Um and then I will parry him, so hold my uh scimitar out front.
WylieOkay. Um basically giving additional AC. Yeah, that makes sense. Cool, awesome. That's a fun way to use it.
MimirYeah.
WylieOkay, if you're um if you're done, Kobble's gonna be up next.
KipoGreat. Kobble is ready uh with the spiritual weapon rock just floated in the air. Ready ready to bash again. So that's that's all he's gonna do is uh send that back at the bugbear.
WylieOkay.
KipoThere we go, baby. 23, yeah. 23, you hit. Great. I gotta remember 28. Thank you. Yep. I got you. Plus your wisdom.
UnknownOh, there you are.
KipoShould be a seven.
WylieSeven damage? Yep. Awesome.
KipoSeven damage.
WylieOkay, so um, I kind of imagine he sort of stepped forward. Um, and so the rock just kind of gives him a nice bash on the back of the head. Oh, wonderful. And um he's he's looking stunned and and like he's he's not looking super hot. He's he's looking a little worn down now. Um but it is the bugbear's turn. And I think that Morpheus is still the close. Well, you're Zard's Zard's close to him now. And Zard did some real damage to him because I don't think Morpheus has hit him at all yet. So he is gonna for Zard. So he swings his morning star. Star. He rolled a natural 14 and he has a plus four, so a total of eighteen.
MimirMisses. Yeah, because of my 19s. And I wait till the last second and I just move it just slightly out of my path and I go, Good try, but I know your moves. Um that's sick. Yeah. So he misses with that morning, so awesome.
WylieOkay, yeah. So he he he's looks surprised like that you were able to so dexterously just you know nudge his weapon out of the way. He's not used to, you know, he's used to being able to just come in and smash everybody. So um he's he's pretty shook by that. And um, so then up next, um, both of his buddies are out, so we are back to Morpheus.
BradAll right. Nice. Uh Morpheus is uh just gonna keep going with the the axe because that's what he knows. Ooh, that's great.
KipoJust uh I think it's just regular, yeah, don't add anything. Just a 15.
Wylie15? You just miss him. So you come up, you come up with your axe and you swing and a miss. Swing and and um you you're really close to him, but you're maybe you're getting a little tired holding this big heavy battle axe.
MimirProbably. Did I give you inspiration? I have inspiration. Okay, okay. I don't think I gave you inspiration.
WylieNo, I think you had it earlier for something else.
MimirDang.
WylieYep. Okay, so you miss, and then we're on to Zard.
MimirUh I will um can I move into like flanking or something with this individual? Awesome. I will do that um and I will attack him with my sword. Oh, I can't see. What does it mean? 13. 13. 12. Uh uh. Yeah, it's not gonna hit 15.
WylieYeah. So you you edge your way around him just scooching around. Um maybe as Morpheus is swinging, but um, and you kind of swing at him too, but maybe as he's kind of avoiding Morpheus, he avoids you as well. So he's trying to like abstract.
MimirOop, okay, I need to concentrate a little bit. Yeah.
WylieAlright, onto Kobble.
KipoI'm very sorry.
MimirNo, don't be.
KipoBut this is the character. So he looks to the left and right and sees the goblins that are unconscious. That are unconscious. Um, and so he Oh, that's what I was doing. Double checking something. Very sorry, very sorry. Three seconds. And oh, no concentration needed. So the rock is still just floating there.
WylieYes, the rock is still just sputting up.
KipoUm, I'm gonna move up to the closest goblin, which would be the one that walked up to Morpheus on the left. The bugbear? The bugbear. Both of the other goblins are unconscious. That's what I mean. Oh, you're walking up to an unconscious goblin. Unconscious goblin.
WylieOkay.
KipoOkay, cat uh crackle. Okay. Walk up to crackle and search in for rocks.
WylieOh. Okay. Sure.
KipoI thought you were gonna fireball us.
MimirAgain, I don't know why I think you're a wizard. I'm not a wizard anymore. I know.
WylieUsually people say I'm so sorry to their party, it's because they're cast of fireball.
MimirThat's why I was like, We're gonna kill everybody. That's what I
KipoNo, I'm sorry. I'm not going to help you hit this butler because I just got distracted and remembered that there's two unconscious bodies there, and I'm gonna go see what they have.
WylieOkay. So yeah, you can um go search Crackle's pockets.
KipoYes.
WylieAll right. Um Yeah, you don't need to do a stealth check or anything. Um why don't you just roll and I'll tell you what you maybe you get in there.
KipoSixteen.
WylieSixteen. Um so there's um a little like package of jerky. Okay. And we just cobble some send it about.
KipoAre you near the ground? No!
BradUm, oh, free concessions. Yeah.
WylieAnd um then in his other pocket there are three pebbles.
KipoOh, no way.
WylieYou roll pretty good, so if you're getting my own.
KipoHe's very excited, and then runs back to the place as a dash. I don't know. Well, I run. That's my action.
WylieYeah.
KipoSearch. And then can I go back to where I was?
WylieYeah, it's not that big a ring. Okay. Yeah. He wasn't that far from you guys.
KipoSo I don't attack, I just search. Because you can attack with your bonus action, and you refuse to do that. Yeah. He's too just found now, are you kidding me?
MimirNo, it's cool. Don't want to.
UnknownHe's really determined. Crazy. No, he's kidding.
WylieUm, okay, so now it's Billy Bob's turn.
KipoThis was a normal DD box? Yeah.
WylieAnd Zard has tried to sneak behind him, so he's gonna go for you. Oh, he rolled a five, and you still have a 19?
MimirNo, I I don't have a 19, I have a 15 now.
WylieOkay, well, he only gets a nine total. So in his trying to turn around and hit you, he misses. Okay, so then up next is going to be Morpheus.
MimirAlright, Morpheus is trying again. And you have advantages there because I'm flanking him. So with you. Okay. So you can roll twice and together.
WylieYeah, so flanking means one character is behind, like you guys are opposite on opposite sides of an enemy, so that was a five.
BradDon't like that. And then an eight.
WylieSo eight plus zero because you're using that battle axe. Yeah.
BradYep.
MimirI'm with a bunch of idiots. And I'm a one of them, right? Morpheus.
BradMorpheus this time just swings, but just goes down and just hits the floor and gets it kind of stuck in the floor as he's trying to get his axe back out.
WylieAnd the crowd is starting to kind of boo and cheer because they're like, we came for a 3v3 match.
ZardI'm sorry that we're I'm it's honestly a 1v1, to be honest.
WylieAnd uh it's Zard's turn now.
MimirI'll be like, all right, my friend, let's give him the match of the time of our lives. And I will attack. That's out of the box. Doesn't count. What's it say? Eight. Oh, eight, but I get to manage because you're flanking. Oh, it does it count because he's got his axe stuck on the ground.
WylieYeah, that was just flavor.
ZardOkay, that's okay. Well, it doesn't do much better. Uh 13 to hit, so I go, shhing, and I'm like, all right, well, maybe we should just call it off. We really try. We really try. Um I fully miss. I fully miss with it.
WylieAnd you're offering to call it a draw?
MimirYeah, I'm like, well, but not draw. We just win, you just don't attack us anymore.
WylieAnd uh he does not seem convinced by that. Um it is Cobble's turn.
KipoOkay. Okay, that's done. We're good. Uh he separated them into a separate pouch to look at in more depth later. Yeah. Because you're busy right now. Yeah, well, there is that, but he's the other goblins too close to because it's right next to the bugbear.
WylieYeah, not really. Yeah.
KipoAnd he just swung to the left and hit him, so he's on the ground. Okay. Yeah, Cobble um is gonna just hit the rock again. Just use it to bash him. So yeah, let me roll to hit. Pretty please. There we go, non-natural 20.
WylieNice.
KipoAnd that's eight. Eight. Great. Eight plus your wisdom. Eight of force. That yeah, no, six. Oh, okay. I already added my wisdom. Yep.
WylieAwesome. So um this big rock comes down, bangs him in the head, and he tips over. And he he falls to his knees in the in the arena, and then just kind of tips over sideways. So you describe what I do.
KipoYeah. Okay, so he's like looking at the rocks and looks up and remembers that the rock is still floating in his spiritual weapon, and just like kind of like motions his arm outward and then pulls it towards him, and that's where it hits the bugbear in the back of the head. And as it hits him, he already, even before it hits him, he knows it's gonna hit him, looks back down as it's just already like playing with the rocks again, doesn't even see the bugbear hit the ground.
WylieOkay. He's totally zoned out.
ZardLike, oh yeah, let me do this. Okay, okay, that's what I was doing. So as uh all minor illusion RPS a bunch of above, like above, and I'll do a RPS.
MorpheusRB. I'm getting a big and at this point. Amorpheus is just gonna like put his foot up on the bugbear, like, you know, and like raise the battle legs above a big leg.
WylieBecause did you hit the bugbear once?
BradNo. Didn't hit him once.
WylieNot a single hit. Um that's great.
BradOkay, and or he comes in and just hits him one time.
WylieIt's like it's a little extra little tap, double tap. Um so um, Mimir, can you please roll persuasion check? Yes.
MimirDo I get disadvantaged because of battle axe? Probably.
WylieWe'll make it we'll make it straight, but um, they are gonna be hard to persuade. I'm gonna say you have to roll a 16 or higher.
ZardWell, good thing, because I rolled a 12 plus five. So 17. All right. I'm really trying. I'm like, RPS RPS! And I lift you and put you on my shoulders, and I'm like, Ar RPS!
KipoOkay, yeah, I'll I'll start shaking my rock bag in the middle of my head. Like, I this is my prize.
CobbleWe won! We win the rocks.
WylieUm Okay, so you you convince some of the crowd, you know. Like it's it's not as full force as you were really hoping. That's okay.
MimirSome of the crowd isn't it.
WylieSome of the crowd is won over, and some of the ones that can appreciate, you know, a little bit of a different battle. It's not super straightforward.
MimirThey're all like still with the black eyes and stuff, too, right?
WylieUm, yes.
MimirYeah, so it's r it's probably really hard to convince these people to do it. That's what I'm saying in my head.
WylieThey have pretty high standards of entertainment. Yeah. Um, and so as you're trying to get them to sh to do RPS, I think more of them are going, rocks, rocks, rocks. Yes, because they saw the rock do the most damage out of the whole battle.
BradThey're just chanting for rock in in RPS. I mean technically, you know, brought down two of them, but that's cool.
KipoI'm hoping Mr. Daggers is like convinced now that my rock's actually. I think right.
WylieYeah.
KipoYeah.
WylieUm, and so as you guys are moving out of the, you know, out of you can see that the betting tables that were off to the side where everyone was placing their bets. Um you can see there's an argument going on because um some of the people are insisting that the fight was rigged because the bugbear attacked his fellow like that's called magic, my friend. But they're they're kind of arguing for it, like they don't want to pay because a lot of them didn't think you guys would win and stuff like that. So there's like a big confrontation going down at the betting tables right now.
ZardOh, I would be like You either pay or leave. And you pay before you leave. Uh and I'll attempt to be intimidating in that situation.
WylieOkay, yeah, why don't you roll an intimidation check? Cool.
MimirNice. That's so good. That is Oh wow. That is real good. Uh that is 22 intimidation.
Wylie22 intimidation.
MimirYeah, I get like stand-up fully straight. I'm putting away my sword, my book is strapped, and I'm like putting a hand on their shoulder. Uh kind of intimidation.
WylieOkay. Um, so they all kind of like back away from you, and the bookie seems a little bit scared, and um he's like, All right, here, here. And he he tosses a small bag of gold at you guys. Cool. And he's like, just get on out of here, guys, get on out of here. Because he's like, I gotta deal with this mess that you made now.
ZardUm and then I will be like, and I will hand you uh I will hand Morpheus the gold, and I'll be like, or you should probably find somewhere to rest now.
WylieAnd uh you hear uh a little voice um from behind you guys. Um as you guys are walking out, I assume you're leaving.
MimirOr going all the way out where it's quieter.
WylieYeah, it's still pretty rowdy on the street, but it's it's not as chaotic as smashed into that kind of tent barn. Um and so you guys hear a voice and says, Hey, you guys got some money now?
MimirUh yes, we we may have money. We have rocks, for sure.
WylieAnd you guys can't see this character yet.
MimirI know, but I'm assuming it's the other it's the same individual that's like still Mr. Daggers. Yeah, so Mr. Daggers.
KipoCan we look for him?
WylieYeah, you can look for him. Perception check.
MimirI refuse to
Brad16 for me.
WylieOh, nice. Yeah. Okay, you spot him. He's he's standing behind Cobble.
MimirYeah, that almost was a reason I gave the person with the highest passive perception the money.
MorpheusI was like, oh hey, Mr. Daggers.
WylieHey, you guys need some help figuring out where to spend that money?
MorpheusNo, uh I don't know, guys. What do you think?
MimirWe need to get out of this town.
ZardThat's what I think.
WylieWhat are you guys looking for?
MorpheusUh, just a a place to rest, I guess.
ZardIt's a safe place that's not around this town.
WylieYou you don't want to stay in town.
MorpheusIt's too loud. Yeah, I don't know if we'll get any sleep with it, how loud it is.
WylieAlright, so what kind of place are you looking for?
BradA quiet place.
ZardThe title of a movie. Yeah, exactly. A quiet place.
WylieUm, so somewhere not in town?
BradYeah.
WylieAlright, like how much gold did you guys get?
ZardEnough. None of your business. We're not gonna tarry you long.
WylieAnd I will tell you guys you got wait, how much gold do you have? Did you ask him? Um he's just I'm not telling you.
MorpheusBut I'm not telling you.
ZardI like this. 30 minutes. Yeah, exactly.
WylieSo you could just start walking in a random direction, kind of looking for the quieter part of town.
MimirYeah, yeah.
WylieYeah.
MimirUh while we're talking to him. Yeah.
WylieOkay, yeah, he kind of follows along with you guys because um he's still pretty interested by the magic rocks and stuff.
KipoAnd it's working.
BradHe's like, it's working.
WylieUm he's like, so you got these magic rocks, he says to Cobble as you guys are walking through town. Of course. Where'd you learn to do magic?
CobbleThat's none. I'm not gonna tell you.
ZardSee how annoying it is when you you know, uh, I give a cobble a high five on my shoulder. It's down.
KipoPerfect.
WylieWell, we can always trade information, guys.
MimirOr I can give you a ride on my other shoulder for information.
WylieI'm too big for rides.
ZardI don't know about that. I mean, look at Mr. Cobbler, he's like 90 years old or something.
WylieYeah, but he's like half my height.
ZardOh, that's true. I have no clue how old we are, because I don't know. I don't know.
KipoYou think he's looked in a mirror?
MimirThat's true.
WylieUm So he's he's walking with you as you guys go through the town, and you guys we finally start to get to the quieter part of town. Yeah. And you can see um that this part, it's not the commercial area where there are shops and stuff. It's more like big houses. And these really nice big houses you can see seem to have a lot of security. There's all the barred windows, the really nice ones you can see like patrols walking around, like maybe a guy with a dog kind of a thing. Um and you see probably what's the like the biggest, nicest house on the street. You suspect maybe you're on fancy street. And um that house it has a bit of a shimmer around it, so you suspect that they maybe have some kind of arcane security, like an arcane alarm system or something like that. Um, but as you kind of work you kind of get through the nicer part and kind of back to more of the slightly more run down, more maybe middle class area. Um, and you can every once in a while, because you've got that high passive perception, um, you glance figures kind of slinking around, sulking around. Um, and it kind of it seems like maybe there's like cat burgulars around or people are just prowling around. It it doesn't seem peaceful here at night at all. It kind of seems like that's really when the town wakes up and the chaos really gets gets going. And um maybe some people sleep, but you know, if if they are leaving their house, it's kind of exposed, and if they're at home, you know, going to sleep is still risky because it seems like you know, people are really using the cover of darkness to their advantage. So um so uh Mr. Daggers walks with you for a little ways and he's like um all right, well, if you want to get outside of town, I mean there's like this cottage that's kind of hidden in the woods. It's over by the base of the mountains. You could head over that way, I guess. Okay. If you take the n the path north of town, you'll probably find it. Just look for some smoke from their chimney. They're probably up still.
MorpheusUh what do you know what their name is?
WylieI don't really talk to them very much. I think well, I think it's the Bodhi family.
MorpheusThe Bodhi family.
WylieThe Bodie family lives there.
MorpheusOkay.
WylieYeah. But they don't have a lot of jobs for me, so I don't go there very much.
CobbleOkay, thanks. Bye.
ZardWhere are you sweet? You're uh you can't leave without me. I mean you could, but I'm gonna have to put you down.
KipoNo, he's uh Cobble said that like shoeing shoeing mr. daggers away. You're trying to run across my arm. He's uh just distracted by obviously Rox in his hands that he's kind of just twirling around, listening to the situation, but then with one hand just kind of shoes him away. Like, thanks for the information, yeah.
ZardYou gave uh we gave you information. Or you gave us information. We should give you information, right? That's how it works.
WylieYeah.
ZardOkay, what do you want to know?
WylieWell, you guys don't really know where you came from?
MimirNo. Um we came from like a r uh a cave or something.
WylieA cave? Where was a cave? Well, in a jungle.
MorpheusBasically, if you go back down the road, you'll cross some wagons that were racing. Oh, okay. You'll find a bush that uh
CobbleNo, no, no, not my bush, not my bush.
MorpheusOh, sometimes a different bush that someone did or did not hide in.
WylieOh, like a good hiding bush.
BradYeah.
WylieOh yeah, I know what those look like.
BradUh and then if you keep going, you'll come across a dinosaur.
WylieUh there were dinosaurs in your cave?
MorpheusNo, not in the cave, but really more so like uh just near the cave.
WylieHow many dinosaurs did you see?
BradUh I think just one. Seven. Seven.
CobbleWe saw seven. Very dangerous.
WylieWell, usually the ones that are in like herds aren't that dangerous. What? You saw seven dinosaurs?
KipoCobble regrets lying all.
ZardI will go. I will go.
KipoI just saw it. He just wants the conversation to be different.
ZardYes, seven dinosaurs. What you have new rocks. Look at your new rocks.
CobbleHe's like, oh yeah.
KipoOpens the other pouch.
MimirWe have seven dinosaurs. I'm like super, I'm like, oh, he's telling a story.
MorpheusSo he's like, locked in. Then at some point we crossed like a creek or something. Um, and then yeah, then there was a cave.
WylieOkay, so the dinosaurs live by a cave by the on the other side of the creek.
MorpheusRight. By a racetrack. Yep, by a racetrack. Do you mean the road? No, I'm pretty sure it was a racetrack.
WylieOkay. I don't know, I don't think there's a racetrack around here, but there's no Racetrack around here.
MorpheusWhat would you call something that people are racing on? A racetrack.
WylieOr a road.
MorpheusWell a racetrack can be a road, but a road is not a racetrack. Alright, we've given you your information.
WylieAlright, cool. I think I might go check out this cave. Sounds kinda fun.
ZardAlright, be careful. There were giant spiders there.
WylieAlright, and if you guys need any help tomorrow, if you need to find your way around town or meet people, I could help you.
ZardYeah. Let me know if anybody has seen us. Maybe that's a good place to do it.
WylieAnybody recognizes you?
ZardYeah. For anybody has ever seen us.
WylieWell, sure, I could take you to like a caricature and he could make your picture and we could pass it around town and say, have you seen these guys or missing?
ZardNo, we're not we're here. We're not missing. But that is an interesting idea. Have you seen us? We are here. I'll think about it.
WylieAlright, I gotta I gotta go. And he takes off and he runs right towards one of the houses just on the side of the street, and he climbs up the drain pipe onto the roof, and you just see him creeping across the roof towards the chimney.
MorpheusWow, the kid looks like Santa Claus.
ZardArt was taking the both know the legend of Santa Claus. Yeah, it's my book. He has three chapters.
WylieAll right. Um, so you guys head on out of the north of town, and if you follow the road, and then eventually you do you have pretty decent passive perception. So you pick up on the smell of smoke and you see a little cottage um like as you follow the spell of smoke and um a faint little bit of glow, you follow it off the path. Um it's definitely hidden. If you didn't know to be looking for it, you wouldn't have noticed it. Um so it's not a place like that people would just stop normally as they're coming on the road. And it is about a quarter mile off off the road into the woods as you get on over there. And so when you get to this um cottage, it's a stone cottage and it has a metal roof, so it looks pretty secure and sturdy, like not easy to burn down or break into or cut a hole in the wall or anything like that. It's got a real heavy front door and it's got bars on the windows. Um, so that's what you're seeing. And it's it looks fairly dark because the windows are shuttered up um pretty good. But you can tell that there is smoke coming down the chimney.
MorpheusRight. All right. Well then uh Morpheus just walks up to the door and knocks.
WylieOkay. You knock on the door. And there you knock. Hard, gently, medium.
MorpheusProbably medium.
WylieMedium. Okay. Um so first you hear a bit of shuffling inside, but the door does not open immediately.
MorpheusUh then he just knocks harder, as hard as he can.
WylieNice and loud, a little more urgently this time. Okay. Um, so you knock, knock, knock, and um, it's dark at first, and then um the door has one of those little slide windows that opens where you can just kind of see a little bit of somebody's face, and it has bars on it too, but it's got this little slide, and so that little slide window pops open, and a torch that was sitting next to the door that was not lit just pops on, kind of like when someone turns on a outdoor light at their house. And so they have a ring doorbell on the city. And uh so pops on, it's oh suddenly a bit brighter because you've been walking in the in the straight darkness to get there and stuff. And um and uh you see some eyes pop up in the little window.
MorpheusUh first thing is do I notice um the color of the eyes?
WylieYeah. Um yeah, with your pretty high passive perception. Um well, it's a little bit dark, so why don't you give me a roll?
BradOkay. Can I also look? Sweet. Is that uh oh, it looks like a one. Is that a one? Yep, that's a one.
WylieThe one.
BradOn that one. But it would be a six, but you're not even sure if there are eyes.
WylieI don't see it.
ZardYou don't know if you're just you're like the flap is above your head, so you're like looking in the door. Um okay. Uh I got a fourteen.
WylieA fourteen. Okay. Um, yeah, so you can see that the eyes that are looking out at you are kind of blue. And so they're not fully black like the eyes that you've been seeing. But um it it's it is hard to see in the darkness and stuff, but you can at least see some blue eye color there.
MimirOkay.
MorpheusSo Morpheus would probably just be like, hey, so uh I'm Morpheus, these are my friends.
ZardUh I will wave politely and I will crouch down so cobbles can see into the perfect.
MorpheusThese are my friends, uh, rock and paper. And uh so we uh we don't know who we are, and we just showed up to the town today and are trying to figure out who we are and what's going on, but that place is kind of weird. Um we ended up in a fight with somebody. Uh I I don't know. It was strange. Uh I got my first job. Um I was washing dishes. He immediately quit after that. Well, I kind of got fired, but you know, let's each their own union. Um But uh yeah, we we just need a place to stay. Uh we really don't feel safe there there in the city, so we just kind of wanted to find a place and we're told that we should come check out here.
WylieOkay. And so then you hear a voice and it says, Crikey! Sheila, come look at this. And you guys will find out who's inside the cottage next time for our next episode.